I’m a little late with my post today. I decided since I’m now a part of the blogging universe it’s probably time I start reading what other people have to say, so I began to surf this morning. I happened to stumble upon one, which led me to another, and then another…you get the picture…anyway, I found myself subscribing to several. There were a couple I couldn’t help but leave a comment on, because their words just reached out and ‘grabbed’ me. I’m trying to figure out now how to add the ones I’ve subscribed to as a link on my page so that I can share them with anyone who stumbles onto mine, but as of yet can’t figure it out. Any suggestions from those more experienced would be welcome. I’m kind of a blog-idiot, so if you know how to do it you’re gonna have to walk me through step by painful step. Be patient.
I’m glad I took the time to take to peruse. I have to admit, it made me feel a lot better to know I’m not the only writing-junkie that finds solace in journaling; and also that there are others that are willing to hang their dirty laundry and don’t feel ashamed in doing so. If you’re reading this…I’m with ya, friend! There’s great sickness in silence. The only way to ever really heal is to let ‘er rip! Don’t ever feel shitty about what you have to say or how you say it either. If people don’t like it they don’t have to read it, do they? Stephen King never gave a shit about critics, and look where it got him. That’s a good enough endorsement for me to be honest!
I called Pandora Patty yesterday afternoon cause I was battling a case of the St. Pat’s Blues (It just ain’t natural to be Irish and not be able to go out and drink green beer!), and talked to her for nearly three hours. It made me feel somewhat better to know she was single, answered to know one, could go out if she wanted to, and yet chose to stay home. I’d like to think it’s because she just doesn’t enjoy partying without her P.I.C (Partner-In-Crime)…which would be ME…and is staying home in protest because we’re many states apart now. Yeah, I know I have visions of grandeur, huh? Ah, well..appease me. Anyway, I’m glad I did, because when I hung up I felt a lot better.
You know, it’s really nice when you have friends that validate your feelings. Not that they necessarily have to agree with you if you’re wrong, but just that they validate that you have a right to feel the way your mind and heart is telling you to. I’ve been dealing with some roller coaster-emotions; one of which is guilt for being so angry and not being able to let it go. I needed someone to tell me that it was okay to feel this way and that I didn’t need to apologize for it. She did just that. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it a thousand more times, “Pandora Patty; the voice of reason in my head.” Not only did she do ‘just that’ but has to do it nearly every time I talk to her lately. She must have the patience of a saint. I would’ve given up on me after the first ((screaming)) phone call.
Today my mood has shifted again, and although I feel like somewhat of a crazy person because my good and bad days seem to be alternating, I’m thankful at least that I get the break from the seething rage occasionally, even though it’s temporary at best. I think this is just something that has to work itself out in its own time, and eventually the good days will out number the bad till I’m over it. God, I hope so, anyway. As my mood shifts, I try to shift my focus as well, and concentrate more on things that make me happy instead of sad. By doing this I’m hoping to create a little more ‘positive energy’. I’m by no means a fanatic when it comes to all this positive imaging shit, but I do think there may be something to this ‘like-energy creates like-energy’ and ‘what you put out you get back’ stuff; and if there is…man, am I in trouble! Anyway, I’m just trying to even out the odds in my favor just in case. I’m ‘plugging-in’ to the excitement of going to my first, outdoor auction of the year tomorrow, and wondering what wonderful bargains I might find. There, I said it. It’s out in the open now; I’m a thrift-whore!
Well, I should scoot off my perch and get some things done around here so it looks like I’m earning my keep. I hope everyone isn’t too hung-over from yesterday. I’ll catch ya on the flip-side.