Out With The Old And In With The New?

Good Morning!

What a beautiful day it is! It’s 8:45am and currently 59 degrees outside. We’re looking at 74 for a high. ((Yay)) I checked Accuweather and other than the possibility of a few flurries later in the week, it looks like Spring is well under way. I’m so excited I could shit purple Twinkies! I was getting sick, sick, sick, of winter.

Hey, I did a little research on that chair that I picked up this weekend at the estate auction. It’s a rocker/glider, I knew it had to be Victorian by the ornate, crest and flowers carved in the wood, and just started pulling up dozens of images off google till I found one exactly like it (Sans the ugly, somewhat-velvet material covering mine, of course). The little gem I found that my husband snagged for $75 is called an Eastlake Platform Rocker circa 1870-1890. Cool, huh? I can’t wait now to see what else I may find this Spring and Summer.

A perk for me is that my husband enjoys these auctions as much as I do, possibly even more. Oh, he’s definitely more interested in acquiring old fishing items, vintage Coleman lanterns and coolers, etc…but indulges me in my passion for antiques and will drop a chunk of cash if he knows I really want something. We have this system where we both take a walk around, look at the items, discuss what we’re interested in, then my husband does the bidding. I usually don’t have an opinion about prices where the items he’s interested in are concerned–frankly, I don’t have a clue what that ‘man-shit’ is worth—but when it comes to the things I want he looks to me when bidding. It’s actually kind of funny to watch us. He’ll go stand near the item I want, I’ll stand close to where he can see me easily, the bidding starts and he glances at me to see if I’m nodding okay to keep raising the bid or giving him the swipe across the neck to stop. It usually works, except for this last weekend. I gave him the swipe—because he’d already won a couple of items and I didn’t want him going high with the rocker (Hey, it’s only a bargain if you can get a great deal on it!)—but he added an additional bid and got it. He told me that he saw me give him the swipe, but my face was pouty and my eyes were telling him, “I really want that chair.” This is the moment to say “Ahhh, how sweet.” Anyway, he didn’t spend as much as I thought he might have to in order to attain it, I got my chair after all, and I’m happy as a kid with a new toy now. It was a good day. Well, almost…

After the auction Saturday we were supposed to do some running, the skies were really starting to look crappy, so we opted to take the stuff we’d bought all the way back home before going into the city. I tell you this before I bring up the other to let you know that my husband had ample opportunity to tell me of the afternoon’s plans and could’ve dropped me off at home without inconveniencing himself; yet did not. It wasn’t until after we were back in the city and his cell phone started ringing that I found out he’d made prior plans. This plan being that he would meet up with his two buddies at the ones home, aid them both in loading up the ones project car and shit out of the house, and then the two of them would drive the items to the ones new place of residence. Okay, no big deal; just one catch…the buddy moving was leaving his old lady, and his old lady is my friend. Ruh-Ro-Raggy! Needless to say, I looked at my husband and asked him exactly what he was up to.

Let me tell you what he was up to! This isn’t the first time that his buddy has tried to move his stuff. He left her a short while back, but she’s been playing the game of ‘You’ll get your shit when I’m good and ready to give it to you!’ and the last time he made arrangements with her to pick it up and my husband and their other buddy showed up to help him, she came completely unglued, grabbed the other buddies arm to force him off the property, screamed a bunch of crap at my husband, etc.. My husband and the other friend spent forever sitting in the truck waiting for the one moving out to stop arguing with her, and never did get one box out the door. Why’d he bring me this time? Prevention.

I might elaborate that this friend of mine and I have a lot of history. She and I became really good friends some 15+ years ago, and remained the best of friends the duration of time I lived in the city till moving here: I was the maid of honor in her wedding, she stood up for me when I married my husband, was like an Aunt to my kids, etc. I mean really good friends; the best of friends till I got my DUI after moving here and could no longer drive into town to party with her at the bar. You find out who your real friends are when being your friend becomes a bit inconvenient. After that I really didn’t see her unless I found a way into town. She never bothered offering to come pick me up, never called to say she’d love to come out for a visit, na-da. I learned then that she was really nothing more than my bar friend, and if I wasn’t there to party with her, then I was really no use to her (“Sigh” Don’t worry, I stopped waiting for her call and got over it a while back). The point is my husband knows this, knows that she now questions whether I still consider myself her friend since we never speak, so therefore will be uneasy about my being there. I might add that my husband can’t stand her, thinks that she’s a mouthy, controlling, flippin-witch, who bashes men because she knows they won’t hit her back, etc. He’d love nothing more than for her to get ‘hers’.

Let me tell ya, I was not thrilled about being put on the spot like that. When I asked my husband what he was up to, he told me matter-of-fact that he has two Pit-bulls to watch his back and take care of his light work: Sully, our 90 lb Blue Nose at home, and apparently…me. WTF? He made it clear that he wanted to get in there, get the shit done, and get out of there without her losing her mind, and he knew she wouldn’t do it if I were there. Prevention. I’m still not sure whether I should feel flattered or offended. I just rolled my eyes, thinking the whole thing was a bit childish, and pulled out my cell phone. I texted her, told her that I was giving her a heads up that I was with my husband, asked her if there was going to be a problem with his helping her old man move, because if there was she needed to let me know cause I was not going to allow her to disrespect my husband in front of me. When she didn’t respond I told my husband to take me over there and let me chat with her before a fiasco occurred. He did, but upon arriving I realized her old man was already there, and he pretty much insinuated that she didn’t want to see me and she was getting ready to leave. My husband and I took a drive for a few minutes while she left. When we returned the move (what he managed to get out of the house at the time) went smoothly.

I have some serious mixed emotions about this now. My husband was wrong, wrong, wrong, for doing what he did, but I suppose I can understand why he did it: She’s a woman who has absolutely no tact when pissed, no filter on her mouth, and has been known to pull a  gun on her old man while drunk, the last time leaving holes in the cupboards from either poor aim, or trying to scare him…we still haven’t figured out which. However, I feel like he took the opportunity away from me to ever rekindle a friendship with this person in the future if I’d wanted to. Not that I haven’t already realized that she was never a really good, stand-by-your-side-through-thick-and-thin kind of friend already, but we were a hoot together, had a lot of good times, and it would’ve been nice to keep that door ajar. And well…it should’ve been my choice, huh? I thought for the most part I handled it maturely and with a lot of tact–my husband was hoping I would just show up and clobber her for him ((whatever))—but I’m sure today she doesn’t see it that way, nor did she Saturday afternoon. I’m sure she felt that I threw her and our friendship under the bus for my husband, ran to the bar to tell everyone how awful a person I am now and how much I’ve changed, and proceeded to get stinking drunk while doing so. I’m pretty sure whatever friendship we had left is now ‘ka-put’.

All of these situations as of late have truly led me to believe that my life is on a completely different course now. People that I’ve had in my life for years—that who knows, may have been sucking all the positive energy out of me all along—I’ve noticed are being weeded from my life, by what seems like forces I have absolutely no control over; admittedly, people that I loved and would never, ever, want to lose completely. I don’t quite know how to feel about this, but am trying to stay open to the idea that perhaps I’m finally coming into my own. Whatever that may be. My goal though, is once they’re gone not to dwell too much on the loss. Loss is hard for me and can preoccupy me for sometime. I’m not one that easily can let go of the past, and really need to retrain my mind to focus only on the future. If any of you fellow bloggers have been able to manage that, let me know how. I’m always open to advice. God knows I could use some with this roller-coaster life of mine.

2 thoughts on “Out With The Old And In With The New?

  1. The key is self-preservation and caring for yourself above the roles you play. That is to promote an independent identity of your own, not play roles opposite others. Your independent identity is not conditional on the attainment and perpetuation of external considerations.

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