When Did Harry Get ‘Hot’?!!!

Okay, I’m awake. I had to take a couple hours nap after the big shin-dig, cuz ‘whew’ it just wore me out looking at Harry all that time. Umm..er..I mean Kate and William. Anyway, I had to jump on here and put in my two cents before everybody and their mother got theirs in first. It’s too late isn’t it?

I woke up at 2 am. Two am for pete’s sake, and I don’t even wake up for sex anymore! Hello!! Actually my alarm was set for three, but the old man was awoken by the dogs who needed to go outside, and I couldn’t get back to sleep after. Good thing too. I was having a dream that my husband had been given the use of a small plane, and had wanted to go away for the weekend to Vegas, or some shit. I was all gung ho, thinking this was so fortunate for me, because I was finally able to get out of town. The problem was I knew my husband had never flown before, so I was asking him if he knew what he was doing. He reassured me, “Oh, yeah. We’ll be fine. Getting it up is easy. Flying there shouldn’t be a problem because there’s no traffic. The hard part is the landing, but I’ve seen it done, and the trick is to keep the wings straight/balanced.” I should’ve responded “Oh, okay! So that makes you a pro now.” But instead I was just going right along with it. We’d yet to make it in the air when I woke up. The question I’m asking myself now is what did that dream mean? I ask because I believe dreams are always trying to tell you something. Why do I get the feeling that it’s trying to tell me that I shouldn’t trust him in being the pilot of our life? Hmm…

My husband crawled back into bed and asked me what I’d said to my son before bed. I told him I grounded him from going to the movies with his girlfriend because I’m tiring of his laziness and mouth, and asked him why. He just laughed and said, “He’s got your coffee going in the pot, left you a note telling you all you have to do is turn it on, and how much he loves you. He even made a bed on the couch with some pillows and blankets for you to lay and watch the wedding.” Ahh…how sweet! I thought. And he’s still not going to the movies!

I got up, wasted about forty-five minutes making cinnamon rolls and getting my shit ready, and plopped down around three-ish. I seen the Beckham’s come in (David is sooo eye-candy, and I still cringe when I see him with HER, because…I’m sorry, she is sooo not worthy of him! ‘Eek!’ Sir Elton with his partner David Furnish. To be honest, the rest I sort of nodded off to, because there were just loads of people that I didn’t give a squat about. Hell, I could’ve had me a couple hours more sleep and just caught the wedding party.

Ahh…the wedding party. ((sigh)) It was William getting married right? Who woulda thunk?! Am I the only one that thought Harry stole the show? Damn, is that one good-looking fine specimen of man…um, I mean…boy! Yeah, whatever! Come to grandma! You wanna know what kept crossing my mind, because apparently I have no shame whatsoever, and no age is off limits? Remember the whole Lindsay Lohan thing years ago where they kept associating her with the words fire-crotch? Yeah, okay…I couldn’t help thinking “Harry fire-crotch!” My bad maybe, but I just love red-headed men! Okay, back to WILLIAM AND KATE’S WEDDING.

To wrap it up: William looked handsome, I loved that dress on Kate which I think really brought out her ‘wholesome-beauty’, the service was l-o-n-g-e-r than I cared for and I could’ve done without all the freaking ‘caroling’, and I thought the kiss could’ve been a bit racer, and to mix it up a little for the queen and crowd he should’ve slipped her the tongue. Eh, my opnion. Oh well, I got my fairytale.

I asked my husband last night why he lied to me. He was half-asleep, and sort of rolled over and asked what I was talking about. I was sitting up with the assistance of some plumped up pillows, watching ‘The Mentalist’, and the thought rather just occurred to me.

“How did I lie to you?” He asked. “What are you talking about?”

“You promised to be my Prince, and you’re not.” I answered.

“Whaaaat?” He’s looking a bit perplexed. “I never said I was going to be your Prince.”

“Sure you did. You told me when you met me that you were different from other men. That if you had me you would appreciate me. You made me think that you were going to be my Prince, and you’re not. You’re still a frog.” I look over to see he is torn between being confused and laughing.

“I’m a frog.” He quietly mutters the words as if in statement, more than question.

“Yep. A frog whose ass I’ve been kissing for years, and you still ain’t a Prince. To be honest, you ain’t even the frog I met.” Before he had a chance to comment, I continued. “My frog was a biker. I met a biker! You’re not a biker anymore, you’re like…some…hillbilly, or something! Did I want a hillbilly, did I ask for a hillbilly? Noooo, I thought I was getting a biker! A biker-frog, but still I could’ve lived with the frog part as long as you were a biker.”

“I’m going to sleep.” He’s bored with the conversation, and rolls over.

I lay there for a few minutes longer thinking about frogs that would be Princes, bikers that morph into hillbilly’s, and a life I didn’t ask for that I got. I thought about the wedding that was to occur in the morning.

I shut off the light and heard myself say aloud to no one in particular, “I didn’t marry very well, did I?”

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6 Comments on “When Did Harry Get ‘Hot’?!!!”

  1. The Hook says:

    I suppose Harry is a good-looking kid who takes after his father – his real one!

    • Yeah, that apple not only fell from the tree but rolled clear the hell down the street. Thank God! The monarchs have to have one good-looking person in that family. Did you catch it? What the hell happened to Andrew’s daughter, Beatrice. Wow! She had some serious gothic makeup going for that shin-dig, and I can’t even go where the hat she was wearing needs to be. Just goes to show you that all the money in the world can’t buy you class.

  2. Hahahahah…great post, I can’t believe you got up and made cinnamon buns. DAMN, if I was a boy I would be your damn prince. Tell your hubby he needs a kick in the ass for me 🙂

    • Okay, now this could be the opportunity to really ‘milk’ this and say, “I know! God, and I never get no appreciation!” Alas, I’m honest. Don’t get too excited princess, they were pop-n-fresh. ((sigh)) Hey, I did spruce them up a bit and pour some heavy, whipping cream over them to make them so creamy and yummy, does that count? I admit, the cinnamon rolls were more for me than them. I was having a party for one in honor of the wedding. They grabbed some before work and school so it benefited them too, I suppose.
      Hey, there’s a compliment coming your way. My husband just walked up behind me and asked who I was yapping to now. I told him Redneckprincess and clicked on your gravatar so he could get a better look. He says you look like Jennifer Aniston. Woo-hoo! I thought that was nice. Jennifer’s a hottie! I don’t know about you, but a good compliment can carry me for a damn month! Ha..ha..

  3. Spectra says:

    Yeah, I think the dream is very much about marriage. Wondering if it was instigated by the whole royal wedding thing? Everyone takes off, the wedding is dreamy, the future looks bright, no blocks in the road, up there in the air, the wild blue yonder…then before you know it, lots of rocky landings in store.

    I didn’t see where you left the “liquor cabinet” comment, so I’ll check around.

    In highschool, my brother and his pals used to call red heads “Fire Patch”. Unfortunately, my mother has red hair, so his friends busted him that way.

    (Until your frog croaks, he still has prince potential!)

    • The liquor cabinet comment was the reply I gave on your Jerry Award post. I couldn’t leave a comment on the page itself, so I went through my email to send it. Now it’s lost in cyber-space. Figures!
      Yeah, I suppose he has potential…but damn it’s taking longer for him to reach Prince status then it should! I’m an old broad. Things need to start moving quicker, dammit! I get bored easily.
      Did you get to watch the wedding? Was it me or was it reeeeeeally long? Good grief, they could be conceiving and birthing children before the closing of prayers.
      And I’m partial to the red-head thing. Dated a few of them, and the old man has reddish-brown hair that the sun picks up the highlights of. Can’t see it in photo’s though. Funny story, when we first got together I made a comment about his having red hair and he said, “No, I don’t.” I said, “You don’t? Looks like it to me. That’s too bad. I love men with red hair.” Very quickly he said, “Yeah, it’s red!” A man’s desperation to get laid is just hilarious 🙂