Mother’s Day… My Way.

I haven’t posted for a couple of days. The reason? I wanted those that I felt needed to ponder over my words be given the extra opportunity to do so. Not that I’m the brightest bear in the woods by no means, and I’m sure there are many out there that could’ve put into words what I had to say a lot more eloquently, but I felt a strong need to defend my country and did. Ask anyone that knows me, and they’ll tell you that I never ask or need anyone else to defend or speak for me, and never accept the offer when it’s given. This is my country, my people, I was offended, and so I handled it. Moving on.

Today is Mother’s Day and I am a daughter without a mother, and a mother without children. My own mother passed away 23 years ago this month, and my children today are scattered to the wind. My youngest just left to spend the day in the ‘big city’ with friends. My middle child, a daughter that lives in another city, had to work today and will be spending the evening celebrating with her own children. My oldest—though I have no doubt is thinking of me right now—is currently doing time in the penitentiary and is unable to be with me. Today is a reminder of what I had and lost. Of what my life was once like and is no longer. I’m not looking for sympathy. It just is what it is. I guess this is just my way of explaining why I have time today to post.

I don’t have a lot to say today. I guess just that if you have a mother—even if she wasn’t the kind of mother you would’ve wished for while growing up—spend time with her and appreciate her, because when she’s gone amazingly the things you’ll remember will be the good times, not bad. And you’ll have many regrets if you didn’t let her know how much you loved her and she meant to you. If you still have small children at home, appreciate every small milestone, because they grow up way too fast. If they are in their teens, encourage and support them, build their self-esteem so they won’t be weak enough to fall for peer-pressure, and for God’s sake keep them away from drugs. Truly this is the demise of our youth.

I sincerely hope all of you have a wonderful Mother’s Day. As for me, I’m going to crack open the first of many beers, and wait for the husband to come home and grill out for me. I guess everyone celebrates in their own way, and this is the best I can do given the circumstances. It wasn’t a total bust I guess. The old man did take me into the city yesterday, I spent hours at the thrift store (something I just love because I’m a thrift-whore), and we went out for a nice dinner. Any day is a good day when I can spend his money. Love and kisses to you all!

Advertisements

10 Comments on “Mother’s Day… My Way.”

  1. The Hook says:

    Very open and honest post. Giood job! I hope you find some joy in the day, one way or another.

    • Eh, I just ended up catching a buzz and calling it good. No sense in crying in your cheerios over shit you can’t do anything about, right? I’ll be better once my application for visitation is approved and I can go visit my son. He’s 26 and my oldest, but still my baby, and he’s a momma’s boy to boot. I’ve never gone this long without seeing him, and it’s really getting to me. I sure hope he’s learned his lesson this time. Whether he realizes it or not I feel like I’m doing this prison sentence with him, and it sucks.

  2. Okay so how was the Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey?!! My internet connection went a bit slow yesterday and I abandoned it last night-too frustrating. I don’t think you should apologise for how you felt about all those comments or that you expressed that feeling. It’s inevitable that questions would be asked and the story will run and run – the bit that irks me is when you get all these leaders professing all that religious stuff that can conveniently go out the window when it suits. If they would just come out and be honest I’d be happier. I went to sleep last night listening on the radio to a clergyman giving off about it being an unlawful killing. You rarely hear religious leaders giving off at the damage of homophobia and religion used to justify it. But i’m just starting my own little rant and this is YOUR blog! Sorry.
    The Mother’s Day thing – I can get a bit annoyed about that too. It’s a pressure that I suspect has an economic drive – bit like valentine’s day if you ask me. We can’t always be with our children and they won’t always express their love in ways we want but hey, we can send it their way on Mother’s day or any other day we want. That’s ok-our own wee private party and I’ll drink to that.
    I found myself a bit tearful yesterday – no idea why, hormones still all over the place but this morning the internet connection seems back to normal and I’m enjoying catching up. Hope you have a great day today whatever you are doing 🙂

    • Morning, Penny.
      Well I’m glad your internet connection is back to normal. God forbid us lonely women don’t have an emotional outlet. Speaking of which, my husband brought up to me yesterday that I’m spending entirely too much time on the computer, and well…it’s bugging him. Really? Oh, you know how that conversation went! I had to remind him again that I’m stuck here with no life, am friendless because he’s isolated me, and the only damn thing I have is my blog and the people on it. God, isn’t that sad? Anyway, I asked him what he wanted me to do, give that up too? Geeze…take, take, take. Is there no end to what he wants me to sacrifice?
      I suspect you were probably sad yesterday for many of the same reasons I was. For some of us Mother’s Day is a reminder of the nest emptying out, and mother’s that we’ve lost. If I remember right your mother has passed, hasn’t she? For me it’s dually a reminder of my mothers death, because that last Mother’s Day I wrote her a poem, went to see her and realized she needed to go to the hospital, they put her in that day, she died ten days later, my father found the poem in her purse, and against my wishes had the pastor read it as her eulogy at the funeral. Tough, tough, shit to deal with!
      And Ms. Penny, you can rant on my blog all you like. I have my own problems with homophobia, as you can probably tell by my recent post, You Are Perfect Just The Way You Are!, so I doubt you’re going to piss anyone off anymore than I already have concerning the subject.
      I just love my blog. It’s my own personal forum to air my feelings about everything. Would it be too grandiose a gesture to say, “Here I reign court because I am the Queen!”? 😉

  3. datGurl! says:

    aww baby gurl…

    i kno its hard today, but u will survive. mine are ‘scattered’ around too. i live in a city i moved to for the job, no fam here. my closest (removed) is almost 100 miles away-my son,-my heart is all the way in TX, and *I* had to work today.

    Ima get thru it. And that drink? (*refills glass to the rim*) I give u permission to anesthetize, my dear!*


    dGb!

    • Sorry about your kids being away too. It really sucks, doesn’t it? They could do away with Mother’s Day and it wouldn’t bother me a bit.
      I managed to refrain from the bottle. Just pounded beer and called it good. I got to visit with my best friend long distance, and the old man came home and grilled some New York Strips, so the day wasn’t a complete wash. I’m just moody, missing my oldest, and getting antsy for the visitation papers to be approved so I can go see him. I don’t know who his incarceration is harder on, me or him.

  4. I never thought of that, and that’s a great idea. We live on five acres, so there’s plenty of room for another tree. Ha..ha..
    My day is going okay. I probably shouldn’t partake of the sauce to take the edge off, but I tell my husband all the time that I don’t lie, cheat, steal, do drugs, run around, am a law abiding citizen, and if I didn’t drink once in a while I’d be too perfect. Nah, I don’t think he bought that BS either, if that’s what you’re thinking. Nor does anyone that knows me buy that I’m made of sugar and will melt in the rain (It was a nice try on my part though, huh?). I guess my political rant gave that one away, huh?
    I didn’t mean to be such a bitch, and I hope you know that it was not aimed at you in particular, or anyone for that matter, but the comments as a whole. I’m only passionate about a few things in my life: My children, my family, people I consider my true friends, my writing, and who I am as a person…which boils down to my being an American. I may come across as rough around the edges sometimes–and I apologize for that–but on a positive note I’m a great person to have in ones corner when times get tough or people need a friend because I don’t buckle easily under pressure.
    Okay, I’m ready for my 4th beer, and am about to dip into this shit called Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey my husband brought home. Hopefully I won’t do any drunk-calling or writing tonight, and the hangover won’t be too bad tomorrow. Hey, thanks for asking about my day. That was really nice of you. I hope you have a great Mother’s Day.

    • Your blog, you are entitled to be as aggro as you like over issues that matter to you. And if nothing matters you would either be dead or dead boring. Which is probably as bad. I am not a whiskey fan, but Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey sounds intriguing.

      • Well, I’ve never been accused of being boring, so I’ll take that as a good thing. A ‘huge’ bitch maybe, but never boring. Ha..ha..
        I chickened out on the whiskey at the last minute. I was slamming beers, already feeling no pain, and decided to call my best friend, Pandora Patty. I figured it was bad enough that I was buzz-calling her, which is close but not nearly as bad as drunk-calling, and the last thing she needed was me slurring on whiskey. I’m glad I did too. She has a way of picking my ass up when I’m down, and I spent the next hour+ on the phone with her laughing my ass off about anything and everything. A good friend truly is the best med you can take when you’re depressed.
        Your mother’s day go well?

  5. I hope your day went well for you. A tradition was started here a few years ago for people who were without mothers (for whatever reason) to get together and plant a tree in memory. I liked the idea but have been toooo slack to follow it through.