The Old Man’s Got More Pussy Than He Knows What To Do With!

I’m going to try and make this short and sweet this morning. Don’t be rolling the eyes. I know…I know…I’m a jabberer! Okay, already! No, it’s going to be in the nineties and humid again today, I got a ton of shit to do, and figured getting it done in the morning hours was wisest so I wouldn’t be baking this afternoon. No air in the old farmhouse, remember? “Why us here backwards…er…I mean, backwoods folk just don take to fancy stuff. Reckon that’s fer them city folks that are faint.”

 

Okay, so guess what? I’m a grandma again. Yay!! No, one of my children didn’t give birth. Well, yes… I guess they did. It was my female cat, Lucretia McEvil.  We got a little kitten-action going on! Yay, again!!!

I told you all in one of my previous posts that a male Tom Cat had been hanging around a while back (The one my husband called the black bastard he was going to shoot that raped his daughters. Yeah, both! Sister cats no less, that I named after me and Patty: Lucretia McEvil and Pandora Kitty), and as predicted both wound up pregnant. So here’s these two cats the last couple of weeks, barrel-round, and weeble-wobbling in and out of the back porch to eat and sleep, and I’m waiting on pins and needles. I’m not sure if I should bring them in to make sure that the babies will be okay when they’re born, but I don’t exactly want them having them on my carpeting or some shit either; and I’m having a hard time pinpointing exactly when they’re due. So I thought I’d just wait and if it looks like it’s getting close I would figure something out then. Too late…they came! Well, one set anyway. Five, little, black darlings with their eyes still shut. More about how I found them yesterday, in hopefully tomorrow’s post. Mother and kittens are doing fine, and are in the house. As a precaution I brought Pandora in too, because she looks like she’s ready to blow up.

Now, I’m an animal person, and anyone that knows me well can attest to this. Once I sink my claws into something cute the damn thing belongs to me whether my husband likes it or not. My husband right now is very afraid. I can see it in his eyes. He’s worried I’m going to get attached to all of them and won’t want to let them live outside. Five is a lot, but Pandora’s haven’t even arrived yet, so who knows how many more we could end up with. Nail biting moments for him could be coming in the future. Of course, I’m excited as hell, and he has no idea what he’s gotten himself into. He’s never had litters of cats in the house. He truly is naive. See, they only stay small and contained for a short time and then they’re everywhere….THEY’RE EVERYWHERE! They’re creeping round the house, rolling around the floor, trying to climb up the drapes…soooo much fun to watch and play with! I’m like a little kid right now with a brand new toy! Yay again!! I have no doubt they are going to drive my husband berzerk! Who care’s, right? Yay again!!

I almost chuckled at the thought when it occurred to me that a bunch of pretty pussy surrounds my husband, and as luck would have it, it’s not the right kind. Ha..ha..

Okay, I’m going to close for today. I got shit to do, and hopefully I’m going to have some time later to read everyone else’s posts. No rest for the incredibly wicked! Hey, anyone want a little pussy? I got five!

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18 Comments on “The Old Man’s Got More Pussy Than He Knows What To Do With!”

  1. The Hook says:

    great post! You should get a show on TLC – they love big, dysfunctional families!

    • No, see that would have to be on HBO, cause I have a huge potty mouth and can be very dramatic. Just imagine a poor, countrified, American version of Sharon Osbourne…you know, who looks different. I can safely safe we have ‘twin’ attitudes. Isn’t that scary as hell? My poor husband and children!

  2. Kitties!!! What fun 🙂 Sounds like there is never a dull moment there 🙂

    • Yeah, you know it’s funny, for my having such a boring life there still seems to always be ‘something’ going on to break the monotony.
      Ooooh, they are sooo cute! I sat and watched them for about fifteen minutes yesterday while they were nursing. Poor Lucretia kept moving around trying to accommodate the ones who weren’t getting any teet, and they were just fighting and clawing each other while trying to steal milk from the other. Good grief, they don’t even have their eyes open yet and are waging war against each other. They are going to be too much fun to play with.

  3. Hi Kitty –

    I’m always smiling when I read your goofy way. Why don’t you give that poor hunk of man hubby a break. You torture him endlessly, haha. Aweee I’m sure he loves it actually. Just teasing you. You said something funny that stuck to me: “Now, I’m an animal person, and anyone that knows me well can attest to this.” I love it. Honestly is the best policy and although you’re strange one, you’re also a good one. 😉 Behave yourself. 🙂

    • I can’t behave myself. Anyone that knows me well can attest to that too! And I don’t mind being a little strange or peculiar…some of the most interesting people I’ve met were strange and peculiar. 🙂
      My poor hubby? Ha..ha..ha.. Let me tell ya, when I met this man he had no life. None! He went to work, went home, threw himself together something to eat, sat in a recliner, and that was that. On Fridays after work he would stop in the bar for a drink with his buddy, which was how he met me. Oh, he just ‘had’ to have me, and I remind him of that all the time. His friends told him that I didn’t date guys like him and he was wasting his time, so of course he had to go out of his way to prove them wrong. I told him he was too young, I had too much emotional baggage and not enough patience, and that he’d be better to go find himself a young thing, but nooooo….he just ‘had’ to have me. My life has been back ass-wards ever since. Nah, I figure he asked for pretty much whatever he gets so I’m okay with that. He don’t seem to mind too much. He still chases me around the room 😉

  4. Congratulations!! I’m such a cat person. My block in NY is chock full of feral cats–sort of my version of heaven. Even if they do carry diseases and such.

    • Hello –

      I was at your Kevin Bacon blog and didn’t see anywhere to comment. Is your blog a private sight or am I just ridiculously blind? Have a nice evening. 🙂

      • I’m trying to remember how I eventually got subscribed. Hmmm… I think her and I even discussed that she was having a problem with this. I don’t think it was through the very bottom of her page. I think I had to go into one of her posts, click to leave a comment, and then under that box was where there was a space available to check for notification of further posts. Not sure. I guess I’d just try checking every possible avenue. It’s like a trap door. 🙂

    • Feral cats carrying diseases… Sounds like some of the men I’ve encountered in my day.
      And thank you! Yes, I love my little kitties. I’m having a hard time not picking them up and cooing them though. They still have their eyes closed, so I’m waiting.

  5. Black kittens. Ooooh. Both of our cats are black. Good luck with being able to let them go. All animals wind their paws into my heart strings and refuse to let me loose.

    • Our two, sister cats are a black-tortoise color, but the kittens all look black to me. I don’t know, perhaps their fur will change some later. I’m trying not to disturb them too much as their eyes are still closed, and if there’s too much traffic she’ll start trying to move them somewhere else in the house. Oh, they are so adorable though! I just can’t wait till I can play with them! I crochet and have tons of balls of yarn just ready and waiting!!

  6. Spectra says:

    It was my grandmother who used all of those quotes, Pk. She once said, when I was very little, and we visited their weekend shack on an acre in the woods every Sunday, that they bought that land during the depression, when “we didn’t have 2 nickels to rub against each other”. She was born in 1899!

    Glad you have the new kittens to entertain and satisfy you. I know baby animals always bring me incredible joy! (But maybe get some of those cats fixed real soon, okay? Around here, they have free clinics sometimes, to contain all of the outdoor, accidental and wild cat breeding) Meantime, enjoy driving your husband crazy.

    • Actually, I’m tickled about the breeding right now, and we need more cats around here. My husband has been a fuddy-duddy about having too many animals to feed on the property, so two cats have been doing the rat and mousing for the job of 20. Needless to say, it’s an ongoing fight keeping the scurrying critters out of the house. Besides, we’ve got the five acres, nearly half of which is woods, and a big, old barn for them to live in if they get out of hand. Well, if he can get them out of the house, that is!

      • Spectra says:

        Sounds to me like you have a plan. In action, already. You ‘need’ all of these cats, like troopers or soldiers, ready for action. So, there you have it. Free cats/mouse hunters. They are a welcome neccessity. You NEED them. Well done, my dear. Well done.

      • Why thank you, Ms Spectra. Umm..the Tom Cat helped some. Ha..ha..
        Nah, I’m probably going to have to put most of them out when they get a bit older. Ain’t no way the old man can put up with all that ruckus. Good grief, he’s only forty and yet is as temperamental anymore as a senior citizen. WTF! I think he’s making me old. Damn! I mean he’s already stole my coolness, what more does he want?
        I think I’m probably going to get attached to a couple and keep them inside. The sister cats were indoors until they picked up the bad habit of crawling all over my island in the kitchen and knocking off napkin holders, the jar that holds my cooking utensils, etc. Yep, then they got the boot! Mama don’t play around with animals on my counters. Oh, hell no.

  7. Renee Mason says:

    Just discovered your blog this AM, and was totally hooked by the title of your previous one. I have NEVER heard anyone besides my mother use the expression ‘up shit creek’. It was her favorite thing to threaten me with when I was little. “Sister, if you don’t stop _____ you’ll soon be singing the “I’m Up Shit Creek Without a Paddle Blues”. Hell, now I have to subscribe to another blog I’ve gone and fallen in love with!!

    • Well, welcome to my litterbox! Bring a scoop…there’s a lot of poop 🙂
      You know I got that saying from my mother too. She was old-school, born in 1925, had me late in life, and raised me with all these wonderful quips. She’d use phrases like: “Don’t have a pot to piss in, or a window to throw it out.” .. “Don’t count yer chickens before they’re hatched.” .. “So broke ya don’t have two nickels to rub together.”.. “Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.” Etc.. Gotta love Mothers! One thing I could say about mine was she was never at a loss for words.
      I’m glad you enjoyed my post. I’m going to have to skedaddle over and check yours out now. Thanks for the nice comment!