I Want To Be In “Sex In The Keys”!Posted: May 19, 2011
I’m going to take a bit of a Siesta from my post today. Yesterday sucked the Big-One!…and I need to gather myself together. I could sit and stew for a little while longer in my own boo-hoo-bullshit, but that doesn’t help anyone, including me. I think I’ll feel better if I get my ass up, put on some crappy, disco music—okay, I consider it feel-good music and don’t think it’s crappy at all, but I thought I’d throw that in for you nay-sayers—pop open a beer—yes, at 8:30 in the morning!—and dance my way through cleaning my house. And I can do all that, because there isn’t anyone here to tell me I shouldn’t! I gotta get something out of sitting here in this friggen house all the time, don’t I? Yep, I think a clean house and an early morning, buzz might just do the trick. Hey, it worked for Sheryl Crow in “All I Wanna Do”
Okay, this is what I need from all of you readers if you can make the time and have any words of wisdom. Serious as a heart-attack, I’m not kidding. If any of you has some really good advice on how I can curb my sugar-binging, cure the small case of muffin-top I’ve gotten started from said sugar-binging, and has some advice on any exercise video’s, etc…that might get my ever-so-slowly-falling-apart ass back in shape, I would sure appreciate it. I’ve made up my mind come hell or high-water I’m going to make it on that trip to the Keys with Pandora Patty over Labor Day weekend—I think I deserve a break from this mess, thank you!—and there is no way I’m going to stand next to that bitch on my first excursion out of this house in two years and look like crap. Yeah, it’s sad. She’s over fifty and still rocks a bikini! I could be content to just be the frumpy friend, but ummm….HELL NO! Momma don’t play that game. I’ve never been the frumpy friend, and I don’t intend to start now! I want Paco with his six-pack abs, wonderful tan, and a smattering of dark curls spilling across his forehead as he leans down to serve me that fruity drink, to look at me like I’m Kim-fucking-Catrall in “Sex In The City”. Wrack your brains ladies!