Stop By My House And You Can See “Wicked” For Free!

I need to be careful, cause I could really get accustomed to this life of leisure. I did nothing yesterday. Nothing! No, seriously. We had some dishes stacked in the kitchen from the night before and laundry that needed tending to, but of course couldn’t get done because he’s jacking with the water, so I had yesterday off, remember? Well, when he got home the cistern was full again, he turned on the jet pump, told me to sit down and relax, and he did the dishes and threw in a load of laundry! Huh? Did I miss something? Hold on…let me do the equation: He worked all day and I didn’t. He came home and told me to relax and he did the chores. Not only did he do them, but went outside and finished weed-eating the yard. What?! There’s a bunch of you women right now sitting back shaking your heads and pondering over what he’s up to, aren’t you? Oh, don’t think something didn’t smell fishy to me too. When do men EVER offer to do anything and just jump in and help? Well, unless they are courting you and trying to impress, or newly married and think they’re in love. It doesn’t last ladies…we know that! So imagine my confusion as I’m sitting there on the couch, drinking a beer, and watching the news while he tends to last nights, dirty cookware. If I would’ve had on jeans instead of that sundress, I would’ve been sticking my hand down the front to scratch my big-ass, female balls! Moments like that just empower me.

Now two possibilities came to mind when this occurred: One was that he felt bad that he’d left me sitting home all Memorial weekend, and this was his way of making amends. Ha…ha…ha…ha…Yeah, right…like I’m that gullable. And men can fly, brown cows provide chocolate milk, and I’m going to be completely happy one day…what a stretch of the imagination! The other was that he’s setting me up for something he wants to do or purchase in the near future, and this is his way of priming me. This is the more logical answer of the two, don’t you think? Yeah, me too.

You know, the funny thing is that it really doesn’t matter. Little FYI about the hubby: He’s stubborn, and does as he damn well pleases whether I like it or not.  The thing is…little FYI about me: I bitch. Now I don’t mean a little bitching that gets annoying. Oh no, when I get really mad about something it’s like there’s a train going through the damn room and there’s no way to block it out! And this Little Engine That Could and can will follow him from room to room till I’m completely exhausted and his ears are ready to bleed. Jack with me, will ya! And see, he knows this and understandably doesn’t like it, so although he will put up with it to get what he wants if he has to, he’d rather not…and anyway, I feel something ‘big’ is up. Not only that…wait for it…wait for it… he got online last night and was checking out prices for tickets to the Broadway musical, “Wicked” that’s in Omaha. Wicked! Yeah, something is friggen up!

Him:  “Come mere for a minute. I wanna show you something.” He says, asking for me to come take a look at some website he’s scrolling through on the pc.

Me:  I groan as I rise from the couch, thinking here we go with another vehicle on Craigslist. Has he just not figured out yet that I’m completely uninterested in that shit?. “What?” I ask peering over his shoulder. “What the hell are you looking at?”

Him:  “Tickets for that play “Wicked” that you wanted to see. Are these good prices for that sort of thing?” He truly has no clue. This is not an act.

Me:  “Yeah, if you’re going to see Paul McCartney or Elton John, but I myself wouldn’t drop that much on a musical. Why are you looking at this again?” Yes, I’m suspicious. Wouldn’t you be?

Him:  “You said you wanted to see this, right? This is the one, isn’t it?”

Me:  “Yessss…and still I ask, why are you looking at this again?” The wheels are a turning in my little, blonde head, and I’m thinking…this is a guy that couldn’t get me out of the house to do something cheap over the weekend, yet he’s going to drop a boatload of money to take me to some ‘chick’ musical. Das not right!

Him:  “So you don’t wanna go?” He asks, just casually glancing over his shoulder, expecting me to buy this generous act.

Me:  “Not if it’s that much. If I wanna see a bunch of bitches fly around on brooms I can break out my own and invite friends over. No, just save your money.” Turning on the heels of my bare feet, I walked away.

Now terrible as this may sound, I’m sitting here thinking today…Hmmm, is there anything I really want? I mean, I’m no dummy and when the opportunity presents itself, which is seldom… Yes I know, I should be ashamed, but eh…sadly, I’m not. We all have our little tricks. That and shame/regret is for the weak and those who still have enough energy to beat themselves up over shit, and well… I got tired of riding that rollercoaster of emotion and self-abuse a long while ago. I think I’ll just stick to being pissy. It works for me!



So what do you think he’s up to? Is it a car, truck, boat, fishing vacation with his buddies, what? It’s something, huh?




Oh, hey…little update on the kitties. Lucretia’s batch that have been kenneled in the kitchen are now running amuck and wreaking havoc! The old man is now having to step over them when he goes in to make my coffee in the morning. He says it’s time for the back porch. I keep referring to a couple of them as my little ‘indoor’ kitties, and he cringes…cause he knows what that means. I feel a disagreement brewing, don’t you? Sadly, he is right though. It is time for the back porch, lest my house starts smelling like a barn soon. One batch down and one to go!

19 thoughts on “Stop By My House And You Can See “Wicked” For Free!

  1. If I wanna see a bunch of bitches fly around on brooms I can break out my own and invite friends over.

    It’s gems like this that make me love ya! Aaaah, sweet catharsis.

    I’d be deeply suspicious about this, too. But . . . but . . . sometimes a gift can just be a gift, right? I’ve met such a thing once or twice, and I’d love it if that’s what this turned out to be.

    Still . . . I’m suspicious!

    1. Morning Deb.
      Well, I just love you too! See, there are people out there who get my humor!
      Actually, none of my suspicions have been founded so far. Hmm…that too makes me nervous. Maybe I’m just paranoid, think?

      1. It’s not paranoid if it reflects trends you’ve seen before! But even when something does seem to be following a trend . . . it’s still occasionally nothing more than its own sweet self. I hopehopehope that’s what this is!

  2. Subtle they are not. And yet they still look surprised when we are onto them. When I flat out ask the smaller portion what he is angling for he trys the indignant ‘What makes you think I want something? Can’t I just be nice?’ line. And is pissed off when I say, ‘you could be but you aren’t unless you want something’. And as a PS I haven’t seen Wicked either though my youngest brother loved it.

    1. I want to go see Wicked, but honestly, not with him! Can you imagine how bored he would be. It would be like a episode of “King Of Queens” where Doug goes the the opera with Carrie. In case you’re wondering, yes, I love the reruns of that show, because the two characters are so much like my husband and I it’s uncanny.
      Well, I cooked dinner, and I’m doing laundry, so whatever he was up to I never let him see to completion, although he’s still being a little kissy-ass. Keeps telling me how sexy I am and shit. I have on a pair of shorts that hang to my knees, a shirt that doesn’t hide my lil, muffin top at all, no makeup on, my hair is pulled up, and I’m sweaty because it’s humid as hell. You’d think he could TRY and be a little more convincing and at least wait till I’ve showered, wouldn’t ya? Duh!

    1. Actually Penny, he has! In fact, when I know he hasn’t I encourage him to. Ain’t I terrible?! He can’t say too much because it’s all the truth, and well…it’s mine. I think right now we’re dancing around the ring waiting for the other to take a swing, throw in the towel, or shake hands and call it even. I am getting really fed up, and he knows it, so we’ll see. Worse comes to worse, I’m going to Pandora Patty’s and you’ll be hearing from me from the great state of North Carolina. I can guarantee you the posts would be a lot different if I went down there. We’d be chatting about ponytails, swinging dicks, and bike rides. Hey-Oh!

  3. Heheeh, can’t wait for the update on what he is up too…maybe he just knows you have had it and he is scared you are gonna take off??? You never know…

    1. That’s a possibility, because I sure threaten enough. Lately I’ve been telling him a lot “You just keep on with your pride, cause you’re gonna miss me when I’m gone.” Oh, he knows… The one thing I don’t do is play the games and hide my feelings. I’m an open book, and when I have a problem EVERYONE knows it. Hey, at least I’m honest and nothing comes out of left field.
      God, Donna…I just had a moment. This’ll tell ya how evil I am. I remember after my first husband and I had a really big fight, and I mean I was wearing a shiner from hell. I had to have been 20 maybe? We went to the store and some young cashier was joking and said, “Damn, who’d you get in a fight with? I hope they look worse than you do.” I never even gave it a second thought and replied, “Ask him, and no he doesn’t.” Was he pissed! I told him if he didn’t want to look like a big pussy who hits women then don’t fucking do it. Yeah, he’d kick the shit out of me, but I was never afraid of him. This is why I laugh at other women. What in the hell do they think they’re going to do to me that I already haven’t gone through? Pa-lease!! Save your energy.

  4. Saw Wicked, loved it! But I went with girlfriends and we drank… heavily before hand so it could have sucked. As for what he’s up to, he’s gonna hold on to that one until he can “give” you something you really want before dropping it on ya. So think BIG and get something REALLY good.. before saying no ;-P

    1. Yeah, isn’t that funny how conversation is always more interesting, people are wittier, and men get better looking when we’re drinking? And food just tastes great at closing time! I always joke and tell my husband that I could eat the ass out of a cow when I’m soused and it would taste good (of course I do prefer Taco Bell). It ain’t a real town if it don’t have a Taco Bell to cater to drunks!!
      I’m off on a tangent again…ignore me. 😮
      Yep, I think I’m gonna get help painting this living room here real soon.

    1. Ohhhh…you got to see “Wicked”? Drat! Am I the only person yet to see it or what? Is it completely wonderful?
      Yeah, I wasn’t about to fall for that, because I knew if I did there was something big coming around the corner going to knock me off my feet and bulldoze me over. I wonder what exactly is going on in that little, ‘hick’ head of his. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is a silver-tongued devil, and I never want for him flattering me with his words, but that’s as far as it goes. I call him Mr. Fun-Hater for a reason; he does not like to do anything with me because we have nothing in common…well, except…you know. And that’s the shit! I figure if I can’t get him to take me out for drinks and some 8-ball at the bar last weekend, but now he’s willing to take me to something like “Wicked” he’s ‘brewing’ something up in HIS cauldron. Oh yes, stayed tuned, I have a feeling it’s about to get good.

  5. It’s gotta be something. If he doesn’t again tonight. be afraid..very afraid. LOL
    I so LOL’d at the “female balls”
    I can’t wait for a update about tonight. If he doesn’t do anything and he is back to normal, then it might be a small case of male PMS. Or something..

    1. See..that’s what I’m thinking if it keeps up I should be worried.
      Having a little trouble with my page. I’m not exactly what you would call computer savvy like REDNECK PRINCESS IS. (YES, YOU! I KNOW YOU’RE GOING TO EVENTUALLY GET AROUND TO READING THIS COMMENT.) I have absolutely no idea how she is able to apply links to her posts, does her designs, na-da! So my little slice of life friend, did you have any problems with the cartoons on my page when my post showed up in your email? Just curious, because I think I did something wrong downloading them. Give me a head’s up if they didn’t appear, okay?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s