I’m Taking The Plunge, People! Hope To Hell I Can Still Swim.

Well, I was all about to do today’s post with a little lightheartedness, cause frankly Boo-Hoo-Lou is getting a little sick of hearing herself whine, but then I woke up this morning with the worst freaking backache, and now…well…I’m a little sour around the edges again. Just when I’m starting to forget how old I am the damn PMS has to rear it’s ugly head, have tea with my Menopause which creates symptoms no less painful then a tumble down a long flight of stairs. In fact, I think I’d rather suffer with the stair thing! My dogs know too. I swear they do. It’s almost cartoonish how the little one burrows deeper under the blanket of his bed, and my Pitbull lowers his head, and I swear tries to put his paws over his eyes/ears. This is understandable, since immediately upon rising I start cussing when I don’t see my slippers on the floor at my side of the bed, and this cussing turns to muttering asΒ  I begin wandering around like a senile person.

“Can’t find nuttin round here. Absolutely nuttin. Shit just up and walks away on its own. Or did you move it?” I narrow my eyes at the dog and he looks away. “House is too fucking big…that’s the problem. Too fucking big and I’m too freaking tired. Just too many places to lose shit round here. Too much stuff.” I’m on my knees looking under the bed and under the dresser. I spot my comb that’s been lost for a month. “I’ll tell ya, I didn’t ask for this shit, and I was never sure I wanted either of you. More trouble than you’re worth is what you are!” I can no longer now see my Chihuahua at all, he has completely camouflaged himself in his bed. Sully has managed to turn himself to where his ass is in my direction, which I can only assume is a feeble attempt to try and make his large, 90 pound frame disappear because he’s not having to make eye contact. Dogs are so damn dumb. “That’s fine. Don’t try and help me. I know you both know where they are too!” I turn quickly shooting a glance towards both of them, but neither respond. “Worthless as tits on a boar. Eating, sleeping, pooping machines…the both of ya! Where’s a damn bloodhound when I need it?” I can only imagine as I’m climbing down the stairs that their asses our starting to unpucker and the little one is whispering to the big one, “You go down first.”

Yes, I’m a mad woman. I talk to my animals. In fact, I carry on entire conversations with them sometimes and give them the replies I choose for them. This happens when there are no other human beings in the near vicinity and you have to chat with someone or lose your mind. Oh hell, who am I kidding…I do it when my husband’s home too. In fact, I can carry on a better conversation with them than I do him! And I’m happy to report I did find those slippers. Somehow I feel you’re not going to be shocked to learn that they were under my desk. You know, cause I’m rarely on my pc or anything.

Speaking of which, I suppose it’s time to have the discussion. Much like a family member who has a bit of news to share and instructs everyone to sit and listen while they ramble, I too have a little tid-bit to share with all of you concerning my blog. For the next few months you’re going to be seeing a little less of me. I feel the timing is finally right for me to spread these wings and move beyond the comfort and security of this nest I’ve created for myself here in this community. I’ve begun to feel a certain pull that I can’t ignore that is leading me in a different direction. All of it has to do with you my blogging family. You’ve taken me to different parts of this country I live in, to Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, my neighbor Canada, invited me into your lives and homes with your words. I no longer feel content where I am, because you’ve shown me how much more I could be experiencing. You’ve made me want to sip from the cups that you all drink out of.

I’m a simple person and acknowledge that my resources are limited, but being at a loss for words is something I’ve never lacked. Given that this is undeniably the only thing I may have going for me, it’s time to find out if it can actually take me anywhere. If it doesn’t I won’t be none the worse for the effort, because I still have this blog I call home to come back to. Soooo…starting today I’m going to try and limit my posts to a couple/few a week and take the extra time I need to get my writing off the ground and see if it takes flight. I’ve realized that I can’t do my blog, interact with you, and write all at the same time successfully. Sacrifices have to be made. So the extra time that I have left from not working on my own posts I can give to yours. Pat on the back is in order here. Come on say it. You know you want to. “What a girl!” Anyway, somehow I think you’ll survive without seeing my whiny-ass posts everyday.

I realized it was time last night when I pushed myself away from the computer although I still hadΒ  about 76 emails left to check that are days old, and went in to wash dishes after the old man finally got my water going again. That also has a lot to do with it. When shit in your house isn’t working properly, it throws everything a bit off kilter, your routine goes out of whack, and for me that’s like someone signed my death warrant. Call it a touch of OCD. Lately I’ve just been a little overwhelmed with this and that, and playing catchup on everything when the opportunity presents itself. It’s maddening. I need to bring a little more sanity back into my life. Need to have a set time when I do everything. I need to start spending a bit more time focusing on just me.

I didn’t realize how much I missed that until last night. I finished up my dishes, hung up my towel to dry, and went on the back porch to check on all my grand babies. Yes, we finally moved them all to the back-porch, and my house no longer smells like I house barn animals. The problem moving them out there though is that those two Bitches that gave them life, are no longer much interested in taking care of them, and are already playing dualing-Houdini’s, escaping off the porch, and seem to be out tramping around again already. The poor lil’ darlings–all ten of them–were huddled together in the corner against the wall, piled on top of one another, and in the darkness resembled a large patch of mold. I quickly fetched an empty laundry basket, piled them all in, brought them into the living room, and dumped them all out on the large, area rug. Kitties were everywhere! Oh, what fun! My Chihuahua, Cash, was dancing around completely enthralled by his new playmates, that I might add wanted nothing to do with him. My Pitbull, Sully, was scared shitless…if you can believe that…and I spent a good hour just watching him tip-toe, sniff, and jump back when the babies back hair would raise, the tail would shoot straight in the air, and a little ‘hiss’ would escape. I laid on the floor, they crawled on me, they played in my hair splayed out on the rug, I was in complete heaven. Yes, it’s time.

Well, I haven’t figured out yet which days would work best for my posts yet. Hell, who knows, I might fold after the first week, unable to stay stay away since it’s become such a bad addiction. I’m leaning towards Mondays and Fridays, and possibly including a Wednesday in the mix. I still intend to read other entries on my off days, and of course keep my email available for those I’m corresponding with on a personal level. The conversations I’m having and friendships I’ve made breathe life into this old girl, so I have to have that. I know many others are taking this summer break also to have more free time to enjoy outdoor activities and write themselves, so I don’t feel so alone in this. I hope all of us are successful in our personal lives and attempts at authoring from making this step. I know I’ve met the most amazing writers since being a part of this forum, and can’t believe all of you aren’t published yet. Maybe this is our year, huh? Fingers and toes crossed. Anyway, that’s my entry for today. May the sun be in our face, the wind at our backs, and the beer cold enough to refresh as it goes down. Luv Ya!

32 thoughts on “I’m Taking The Plunge, People! Hope To Hell I Can Still Swim.

  1. If talking to animals means we’re crazy, then I’m nuttier than I care to admit! LOL.

    I’m delighted to hear that you’re going to focus on your writing and finish a book. Whatever the subject, I hope it will reflect the voice you’ve displayed here. You’re one of the most honest and uninhibited writers I’ve encountered online and translating that onto a page will make for wonderful reading. Happy writing!

    1. Thank you, Carol. That is so nice of you to say.
      I do have many manuscripts started. Some are nearly finished. I am hesitating whether I should focus all my attention on finishing those or continue to write ‘my’ story. I was tinkering with it a little this weekend, so we’ll see how it goes. My problem is going to be that I haven’t disciplined myself to sitting and working on something other than this blog. I gotta retrain myself. And don’t worry, I don’t have a filter on my mouth or thoughts, so it’s highly unlikely that I’m suddenly going to become inhibited and write differently. It’s kinda, what you see is what you get.
      I really value your input. I love your writing style and think you’re very wise, so it means a lot to me to know you read my material and like it. Throw a prayer my way, kay? πŸ™‚

  2. Oh and when I was in the depths of my last depression my daughter brought home a fish from her shop that the manager said couldn’t be kept in the shop any more (even though the customers loved it) and so I adopted him – Thompson was his name(after the said manager). He became my saviour – he was a black More or something but anyway it looked to me that he was waving at me when he flapped his fins and he was the only company I had for weeks. I used to sit and sob and then talk away to him. Of course he spoke back to me, hey we chatted away all day. Just last night I told my daughter she looked like him (he has since passed on to the great fishbowl in the sky) as she was making peculiar ‘gupping’ sounds and shapes with her mouth. We laughed our pants off! Then you made me laugh reading about your conversations with your dogs. Hilarious. Sanity must be so dull πŸ™‚

    1. See…there is someone crazier than me. You talk to fish! Ha…ha..ha… And you know something, I don’t care what anyone says, I think my dogs understand every single word I say to them. I also think they whisper to each other and talk about me behind my back. I can’t prove it, but I swear it’s true!

  3. Oh Lou! I seem to spend my Saturdays catching up with your blog – I love that! The last few posts have been absolutely brilliant and all the conversations you start. Just bliss to read. Re the ‘telling’ the guy about how you feel – I think go with your inner voice on that one too. If the opportunity comes up when you are next talking with him, go for it. And remember that life does move on and feelings and things do change – Beth’s advice and protection may well have been right for you then but it is different times now – just a thought.
    Fully understand about you needing to curtail the posts – just remember though that whatever you are writing, a lot of what you post here is VERY publishable! I mean it. Maybe you have an editing job to do with what you have already started here – it is all such great stuff. Maybe if you feel that you are actually working on a project with all your writing then some of the other stuff will begin to rattle less – I know that is how it has been for me. Good luck with how you manage your time and your writing but don’t you dare go anywhere – I miss you already!!!

    1. Thank you, Penny. And you know something you said that was so smart, that I, or no one else thought to put into words was… “life does move on and feelings and things do change – Beth’s advice and protection may well have been right for you then but it is different times now”. There is much truth to that and exactly how I feel. I think she was afraid before of my ‘wanting’ to be with her brother. Perhaps there was a time that was true. Today, although I can’t say I don’t feel that old ‘crush’ at times…absolutely not. We are different people today. We’ve experienced completely different lives. It’s more that I just want to acknowledge my feelings. Just like I also have this great need to look up one of my first serious relationships just to ask him, “What was it about me that made you think you could hurt me? And why would you?” Not that we parted ways badly. Nothing like that. But I do have a curiosity what it was that he saw in me that let him know he could step out on me and treat me badly. I read once that there was a woman that did that and wrote a book about it. She went around the country and found every guy that she’d ever had a significant relationship with and asked them those same questions. She wanted to know what they saw when they looked at her. Freaking powerful shit, if you ask me. I think people hurt us because there is something about our personality that tells them they can get away with it. Well, I wanna know what that is so I can fix it.
      I have considered the blog into a book thing. How could I not? But of course, I would want to include the comments, because these are the things that make my blog really come to life. I don’t think six months actually qualifies as long enough to use it for that purpose, though a lot of what I have to say about my life can be pulled from within the contents of it. I’ve been working on my life story, and had planned on titling it “A Paper Mache Life”, but now I’m wondering if instead of a sappy book, I should take a humorous approach and title it after my blog. You know, the whole “Same shit…different story” approach. And no, I’m not going anywhere. You all have become better friends than I’ve had in my real life. I couldn’t leave you if I tried. My hope is to have the ability someday to meet each and every one of you in person. Now that would make one helluva book!

      1. I read once that there was a woman that did that and wrote a book about it.
        I need to find this book, immediately!

        Now if only yours were already written . . .

        And, OH! Here is to hoping on that “meeting” bit. Pretty please with a cherry on top? πŸ™‚

      2. Wouldn’t that be tons of fun, Deb? If there was a way we could all get together for a blogger’s weekend someday? I have a feeling that this may never happen, as so many of us are abroad, but you never can tell…I still play those lottery tickets. I would have no problem splurging on a week in Fiji for the whole lot of us. Yay! Party on the beach!

      3. DUDE! The fact you said Fiji? I’m calling it a sign! I’ve promised not to actually name the show in the blogosphere, but Ba.D. was a contestant in a popular reality TV show . . . during the season it filmed in Fiji!

        Now it’s gotta happen. It may take a few years, but I’m RSVP’ing “hell, yes” right now, whether it’s in in Fiji or elsewhere.

      4. I’ve wanted to go to Turtle Island in Fiji since I watched the movie, “Blue Lagoon” years ago. And would’ve already, if I didn’t have to sell a damn body organ to afford it. One of these days though my hope is to do it up right and spend a couple of weeks there. You never can tell, it could be a book that gets me there.
        And P.S….Ba.D should want the lil ‘plug’. You’re life is so damn interesting. And here I sit stuck in Ain’t-Doing-Shit-With-My-Life-Here Iowa. 😦

      5. That’s part of his story, not mine, though! Twice a year they’ll have a finale viewing party and they had one big shindig last year, but mostly? It’s “that irritating thing you did” to me. (“Irritating” because a lot of the reality TV folks I meet seem to forever be defined by their 20 or whatever days on reality TV. They have several annual events, including a family-unwelcome outing to Catalina. I’ve actually heard the experience likened to that of being “war buddies,” which you can bet I have not taken kindly, or quietly.) Still, “that irritating thing you did” is an improvement from where I started, which was full-on mockery when he announced he’d done it a few years back. When we went on our first date, he actually started with, “I hope you don’t think less of me for that . . .” Oops. I’m trying to be more open-minded now. I do understand why the prize would be life-changing in positive ways. πŸ™‚

        1. Actually got out of the house, did lunch with my siblings and a cousin visiting from Forida. I needed the break. Was intrigued by your email, love to research, found this and thought I’d ask. Robinson…Survivor…2007?

  4. Was it yesterday I said you rock? Have a wonderful productive time and when you return we will be v happy to see you for visits.

    Talking to the animals is fine – attempting to reason with them as I do is a bit of a worry. But what they hey, it doesn’t hurt anyone and gives me a conversation.

    PS. The smaller portion is called that because my mother called him my better half – but I am taller.

    1. That s’plains everything! Ha..ha.. God, I still love that….”the smaller portion” too funny πŸ˜‰
      Well, I called the guy and left him a message about taking my other pc tower in to get it worked on so I have more to work with when I write, but if push comes to shove I can do what I did when I first started years ago, lots of legal pads and pens. I think though it’s really time I get rid of my vintage stove in the kitchen and invest in a laptop. I have a beautiful 1951 Tappan (doughboy) electric stove that I was fortunate to come across, that sits unused in my huge, country kitchen mainly for decoration. I’d hoped someday to get a screened-in summer kitchen built on to put it in, but hell at the rate I’m going I may not be living here to have that happen. I’m growing and just might be getting self-esteem big enough to move on soon. Time will tell. We’ll see then whether my smaller portion–and I don’t mean that size wise–is ready to move with me or not.

    1. Well thank you! I’m not going to be going too far so you stop back by. You’ll find the comments that these crazy nuts I call my blogger friends leave are a might funnier than my posts will ever be! I’m going to have to swing by and check your site out now. Thanks for finding mine!

    1. Thank you! God, I hope I’m up to the task. I have never…I mean NEVER had the courage to finish all the manuscripts I’ve gotten started and send them in. I guess I figured if they weren’t done, I wouldn’t be tempted to try, and therefore wouldn’t get rejected. I’m not good with rejection. I’m gonna do it though. I guess it took blogging to make me realize if so many of you great, witty, insightful writers keep reading my shit, I must not be half bad, so….
      Yeah, I know we all talk to our animals, but sometimes I think maybe I talk to them too much. I mean, I killed a cactus once. A CACTUS, FOR GOD’S SAKE! DON’T THEY LIVE THROUGH ANYTHING? I’m not good at growing things, thought that was something I might actually be able to get to thrive, heard it’s good to talk to plants, and well….I think I talked it to death! Ha..ha.. Oh well…I guess the things that are really important, my children and pets, I’ve had no problem raising, so it’s all good.
      When are you going to take the plunge too?

    2. Rather than writing a whole ‘nuther comment stating exactly the above, I’m just going to say “ditto”–and expect to hear from my often! MWA! Big loves to ya, lady.

      1. Thanks Babe! You inspired me to get off my dead ass and do something. If you can do it with everything going on in your life and a toddler, then I damn well sure better be able to do it too. Besides, you gave the excuse I needed to take those days off to pursue my own stuff. Your my hero, Deb!

    1. Me too. I guess it could be worse. I could own fish. Then I’d really look like I’m losing my mind.
      Sadly, the only thing my husband wants to chat with me about is work when he’s had a crappy day, and I am soooo not interested…although I do give him the courtesy of listening. Sometimes I find myself looking at him and trying to remember what it was that attracted me to him, cause we have NOTHING in common. I guess that’s marriage though. Suppose I can’t complain too much. He can still make me laugh, and well…the other is still pretty great, so….

  5. awww. Love ya too chick! Have a cold one for me, and play with the little ones while you can. because they will tramping around with the rest shortly! hope to stay in touch with ya, but you can only make yourself happy, and I agree sometimes you just have to step back and make that happen. Cheers to you my friend, till you write again πŸ˜‰

    1. Monday, Monday,….I’ll be back on board. I figure that’s plenty of time to get refreshed over a weekend and have something to chat about. In the meantime though you’ll hear from me, I just won’t be posting everyday. I still intend to stop by everyone elses blogs, leave my witty comments, and hopefully have time to check out a few new ones. You’re not going to get rid of me that easily! As if!
      I’m just really bogged down right now, and don’t even have time to get involved with everyone’s little fun games like the ‘song’ mix you’re participating in, Redneck Princess’s Five Question Friday, or adding any of my recipes to other’s blogs, which I would love to be able to do. I’m almost scared to start anything else for fear I can’t follow through and continue with it. 😦 Poor me! I just think it’s time I stop concentrating less on writing my blog, work on my manuscript at home, and having the fun of socializing more with all of you. So I ain’t going no where, Baaby! Just not posting as much is all.
      Oh, I dropped you a little email. Just a friendly “How you doing ta-day, girl?” Guess you brought out the Mother Hen in me a little.
      Today I plan on bouncing off and on the pc, trying to catch up on my backload of emails and everyone’s posts I haven’t had time to read, and hopefully get the old man to take me out for a bite tonight. Making this decision has taken a load off my mind, so mama feels frisky. I see beer in my future! Ha..ha..

      1. Dear Ms. Kitty,
        Mother Hen here, wondering if she should commend you for your motherly instincts or sue you for impersonation. She will probably let you off with a warning, since you seem to be a kindred spirit.
        Just to set the record straight, there is only ONE world’s foremost typing chicken, she hangs out at Mother Hen’s Nest, and she is magnificent, in her own humble opinion.
        You are one funny chick, and MH loves funny chicks, so you are off the hook this time.
        Uniquely yours,
        Mother Hen

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