Does This Make Us Any Better Than In-Bred’s?

First of all, let me just say Picky, Picky, Picky. Oh yeah…where’s the love when Pissy screws up and can’t download the photo’s properly? I get on here after entertaining company the last couple of days, and what do I find? Cyber snickering….that’s what! Shame on all of you. What was it that confused you and made you think I was purrrfect and above  error? My catty attitude? The way my fur rises when I get angry? The way my claws extend when I’m preparing myself for an altercation? The movement of my delicate whiskers when I’m wrinkling my nose in distaste? I’d think all these things should forewarn you that Pissy hits  the catnip and isn’t capable of doing even the most mundane simple tasks at times. I smell shit in my litter box!

Actually, although I haven’t yet had the chance to reply to comments I’ve already read, you people had me laughing my ass off. My son looked at me strangely and asked “What’s so funny?” as he came over to the pc to look for himself. I read him some of the comments, and he wanted to know what pics you all were talking about, so I scrolled up the post for him to see. He looked at me strangely again and said “I don’t get it.” You want to know why he didn’t get it? The photo’s all appear on my post. Weird, huh? I’m telling ya, my pc is possessed.

Well, I’m once again incredibly behind on my posts and emails. Thursday I was busy cleaning house, getting laundry done, and preparing a birthday cake for my son’s girlfriend (I only did the homemade frosting. My 17 year old son insisted on baking her the cake himself. Isn’t that sweet? Ahhh…). We celebrated it with dinner together after the hubby got home. She’s such a little doll. Is it okay for me to like her more than I do my boy? She smells better. Then after the hubby went and picked up my cousin who’s in from Florida on vacation and has been staying with my sister, and brought her out here for a couple of days. Due to the risk of flooding in the city all of them might have to evacuate, and so the one sister my cousin had been staying with panicked and decided to leave early, and the two of them retreated to her daughters  in the country not far from here. The problem is they have a large family anyway, and other friends and relatives that had already left their homes are staying there, so when speaking with my cousin on the phone she whispered that she was miserable and rubbing elbows with 23 people. What? 23 fucking people are in that house! She told me that she didn’t know how much more she could take, because she’s never had to live like that–Who has? That’s freaking craziness!–so I told her she could come over here for a couple/few days and stay with us where it’s quiet. I’m glad she did. We were able to visit and get caught up on A LOT OF THINGS.

Now before any of you starts wondering why my husband and I haven’t jumped in to offer lodging in our over 2700 square foot house that currently has 3 occupants and a few animals, the reason is because my husband says ABSOLUTELY NOT! We did make mention to my one sister and her husband that if they needed to come out that they are more than welcome, and if push-comes-to-shove and an evacuation is absolutely necessary I will ask my other sister to stay here too, but my husband can only take people–especially my one sister–in wee doses and says he’s not even going to get started with that whole mess. I can’t blame him. I, too, can only take family and friends in small doses. Apparently the one sister decided that all those people were even too much for her, and that perhaps her retreat to the country was a hasty decision, so she went back home to await further instructions, and my husband dropped the cousin back off at her house this morning. Right now I am alone. Blissfully alone. San’s hubby, son, and company. Ahhhh….

Okay, put on your seat belts fellow WordPress Co-pilots. Pissy has news. As if my family saga doesn’t already have enough juicy tidbits of information for me to fill a novel with nail-biting, edge-of-your-seat, page-turners, it appears I have yet another detail to add to our obviously dysfunctional family history. What in the hell were these people thinking? I truly belong to this family? Perhaps I should explain…. Follow along closely. I shall not repeat it.

The cousin that came to visit me is the daughter of my mother’s oldest sister that lived in Florida where my mother originated from. This cousin is  several years older than my oldest sister. Still following me? I hadn’t seen her since I was about 4 years old, because we seldom made the trek to Florida, which means it’s been 44 years since I’ve laid eyes on her. Which means I’d forgotten completely what she looks like. What….more accurately who she looks like is my mother. No, I don’t mean she resembles her. I mean she looks EXACTLY like my mother did in her thirties and forties. Okay, you know I fucking freaked; for one because my mother is dead and it was like seeing her resurrected, for another there’s no denying something is seriously a foul in our family.

Now the first question I asked is “What the hell is going on here? You look just like my mom!” And I had reason to be suspicious, because my mother does not look anything like her oldest sister, who is supposed to be the mother of my cousin. Well, to make a very long story short, it appears my cousin was told at some point that my mother was her mother, by her father before he passed away. She only had his word to go on it though, and really didn’t look into it any further. The story he told her was that it was before my mother married my father, she was single, couldn’t take care of the baby, and gave it to her sister to raise as her own. I think my cousin came up here seeking answers, and from the bomb she dropped on me this weekend, apparently before my father passed away he admitted to my brother the secret that mom had confessed to him that she was actually her daughter. My brother told me nothing of this. I’m not sure if I should be pissed or not. So it appears people that I have a sister that I always thought was my cousin, and now at the age of 48 I have to start rethinking my family tree again. Given the fact that I’m still unsure if the rumors about me are true or not, and whether my father is my real father or not, this new little added detail makes me think that we’re really no better than a bunch of in-bred uncivilized folk. Feel me? Pissy is going to have one helluva bestseller on her hands if she ever gets her ass motivated and finishes this damn book. The dysfunction in my family never ends.

Well, I suppose I should leave you all with that little bit of info to chew on. The rain finally stopped falling, the sun has come out, and I might fore-go reading blogs for yet a little while longer so I can bask in the sunshine for a while.

Hugs and kisses to you all!


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15 Comments on “Does This Make Us Any Better Than In-Bred’s?”

  1. The Hook says:

    Hilarious title! Well done. You have the blogging gift, my friend.

    • Hilarious perhaps, but also true. ((sigh)) My family is so jacked up Hook. I doubt some would believe me if I elaborated on the truly odd shit. I guess I have plenty of fodder to write with though, huh?

  2. Spectra says:

    Holy Shit! That is BigAss news! Hey, I have no good frigging family secrets to reveal. Utterly boring and predictable. Glad you have a newly found sister. Drama? Yes. So what?

    I am interested in the number of people coagulating in homes to beat out a flood…23? Sure, that’s a lot, but it also sounds like a lotta fun to me. I love a good weather tragedy. So, go figure. I’m a bomb-Shelter Girl. This stuff sounds good to me. Bring on the floods, tornadoes, hurricanes, atomic blasts, etc. I have a hole in the ground, with toilet paper. you can’t get me down! >:-(

    • No, you don’t have any good family secrets because you were raised by June Cleaver. Give me boring and predictable any day. It appears my family is more whacked out then even I gave them credit for. I never know what to expect next. But yes, it was a nice surprise….though it came a little late in the game, don’t you think? She’s a few years older than my oldest sister which makes her 67. Sixty-seven and my mother is long dead. Yeah, great timing.
      From what she told me there were 23 at one time, and more were supposed to be coming in. Can you imagine? And it doesn’t sound like fun to me, but a freaking nightmare. The strange thing is, they haven’t even issued an evacuation yet. I think they all just needed an excuse for a party. Who knows. I’ll stick here at home by myself, thank you.
      Oh, I already had your email from correspondence, but thanks for sending it anyway cause I’ll take that as a nod on the pics. What a girl!

    • Spectra says:

      I can’t see the photos in my email! Also, I think you must delete my above reply for me, as that extra http link takes you into my private email , though I do not know what people can see. Just the sixlegdeer@yahoo.com is enough. Thanks

  3. I hope you get that ass motivated! Surefire bestseller, not only for the crazy content, but also its presentation and its tough-talking yet compassionate author. I want to read it already. And buy copies for friends, in my case, largely for the latter of those three components. ♥

    • I know for many of us we think that no one would want to read a story of our boring lives, but you know if you write down the major occurrences on index cards and spread them out in front of you on the floor you’d be surprised to learn that everyone has a story that’s interesting enough to tell. In my case dysfunctional raising, domestic abuse in my first marriage, my brother’s disappearance, one of my best friends getting life without parole for murder, living with the question of whether I’m a bastard child, my best friends suicide, memories I have of river parties in my youth and the bikers in my life as an adult, etc..etc.. And of course this new little tid-bit of information. We all have a story to tell that’s worth reading. I just hope that I’m able to tell mine well.
      Thanks for the vote of confidence though, babe! I can always count on you for that needed pat on the back.

  4. Holy cat shit batman…I have to go think about all that for a bit 🙂 glad you are back!! xooxo

    • Glad to be back. I was having WordPress withdrawels! Ha..ha..
      Yeah, can you believe that? Wow! I mean how fucked up is my family that they can keep a secret like that? This woman, my cousin/sister…whatever…is 67 years old! Gotta tell ya though, my mom was a very beautiful woman when she was younger and she takes after her. She doesn’t look much older than I am. I’m not shitting you. She swears it comes from her using the Roc line of skincare. I gotta get me some of that shit!!!

  5. Families is tricky. And I think they frequently suck big time. As do visitors. The old saying that fish and visitors smell after three days, seriously underestimates things for some people. And yes, learning that you maybe/probably have a sister would be confronting, but I am sure that you will triumph.
    PS I didn’t see much laughing at your PC issues – sympathy and an acknowledgement that even without photos your posts are a joy. Seems pretty impressive to me.

    • Ah, I was just giving everyone a hard time. Call it taking creative writing liberties. I am going to email those pics to Spectra though and have her post them on her site. Pretty clever of me, huh?
      You know, I’ve never heard that old saying about fish and visitors. Incredibly funny, but so true. Not that I didn’t enjoy the visit. If I had to have a long term house guest I should be so lucky to have someone like her who picks up after herself, is clean, has manners, etc. It’s just I’m used to being alone most of the time, and don’t really like to feel obligated to entertain. Does that make me anti-social? And this news….well let’s just say that nothing surprises me much in our family anymore. Weirder than shit.

  6. OOOO secrets are out… Your posts always have me wanting more. To know what is going to happen next, and who and what is going to do something. I hope everything comes out on the table so all the pieces be placed together. Hope you have a wonderful weekend Lou, sending comment hugs to ya! 🙂

    • The weekend is coming quickly to a close, and no it wasn’t worth a shit, but then it seldom is. Last night I got sucked into having my husband’s buddy and his old lady come over for drinks and a late dinner….you know, so we could all visit. Yeah right! They hung out in the garage the whole time and I sat with her in the yard and visited. I got the definite impression that I was there to babysit her so her old man could hang with mine. And to be honest, I did not want any company and tried to tell them so in the beginning.
      Today I wanted to go see my boy and he won’t take me. It’s moments like these that it really bothers me that my car isn’t running and I don’t have my license. He starts creating a problem for me to see my boy and he and I are going to be having some of our own.
      Can you imagine finding out after your whole life that there’s a good chance that someone you’ve always known as your cousin is really a sibling? Is it me, or is this some truly backwoods, backwards, bullshit?

  7. lifereconnected says:

    Oh my goodness Lou – firstly glad you are back posting with or without photos but that news is huge!! I will indeed need to ‘chew’ on it a while like you I’m sure too. God but life never stops throwing things at us eh? Hope you have a great weekend however it pans out…x

    • I’m going to get those photos out to all of you come hell or high water. Not that I think they’re a big deal, but now I’m a woman on a mission and determined that they will see a post.
      I can’t even begin to tell you how weirded out I am by this news. Not that I can be shocked by what goes on in my family anymore, but still you’d think my mother would’ve said SOMETHING about it before she died. Way to keep a secret, Mom!