I’m All Over The Place Today!

Good news! My Dell tower is currently in the hands of someone that is going to get it up and running again, rid it of all the little bugs it may have, and as my husband puts it is getting tweaked. Tweaking sounds good. I can work with tweaking! The computer, guys. Just the computer. Focus!

My excitement stems from the fact that this computer I have been working off of since I believe January right after the other took a dump, is well…a piece of shit! Not only a piece of shit, but one that is old and bogged down with more crap than you can imagine. That, and being the little computer genius that my husband always tells me I am–for no other reason than I can actually get into the control panel deleting files and he knows nothing beyond surfing the internet–I went into the control panel, and hoping to clear out some stuff I really don’t use somehow completely deleted…and I do mean completely deleted my office program. I literally have no where to do my writing now. I have no way to open my files. Not freaking funny, guys! Oh yeah, I  might also mention that I have no disk to download the program back into the computer. Ugh! So you see, this excitement is absolutely founded.

Now there is but one problem at having my Dell worked on. Okay, maybe a couple. The first would be that I’m going on my husband’s word that his buddy from work who is fixing it is a computer wizard capable of fixing just anything. Remember, my husband is the same who thought this genius could do anything and she managed to wipe out her Word! The other–and this one makes me real nervous–is that if he is able to get it up and running how do I know he’s not going to start reading all my shit? My personal journal is on that thing. And no, I never bothered locking any private information behind a password because my son only used the computer for Facebook, and my husband couldn’t figure out how to go into ‘Start’ and open shit if he tried. It really makes me uncomfortable to think this strange man could be looking at all my old plans for reinventing myself and divorcing my husband. Old plans? Anyway, you get my drift.

Having my Dell up and running means I can get those barn pics posted for all of you. That, and perhaps I will be able to take some additional pics of my hovel so that all of you can enjoy a slice of Pissy’s life. Make sure you eat fast. The fruit is going bad. And more importantly, I will once again be able to resume working on my manuscript which is stuck inside the motherboard somewhere. It’s really sucked writing on legal pads, especially when I can’t even remember where I left off. So hopefully life will get a little easier in the future, and Pissy will be a little happier. And you know…it’s all about making Pissy comfortable and happy!

Moving on…..Remember yesterday’s post? Where the theme was all about the things in your past that shape you? You didn’t read it? Get back there…I’ll wait. Well, I was reading my horoscope today by Jonathan Cainer and it was like he’d been reading my mind. I thought I’d share it with you.

Scorpio, Wednesday, 29 June 2011
Daily, Yesterday, Weekly, Monthly, Year Ahead Video

Life is not a series of unconnected events. What you did in the past has fashioned the way you are today. What you do today is creating your future. With that in mind, the planets are presently asking you to focus on the change you may be able to bring about next. To do this you may have to think more deeply about what various sensitive situations and significant people mean to you. You’re letting a fear or a resentment hold you back. Overcome it. Not only will doing this shape your future, it will help redefine who you are.

Fear or resentment. Hmm.. Not that any of this spooky shit may actually hold it’s weight in water, but there might be a ring of truth to it. Fear of moving forward and taking a chance on my writing, makes sense. Resentment I carry for the back-stabbing traitors who turned me overnight into the bitter bitch that I’ve now become…that makes sense too. Question is, how to let go of the fear and resentment?

Okay, so I know I’m all over the place in this post–don’t act like you’re shocked, this is me we’re talking about, remember?–but I happened to catch a seriously-old rerun of Unsolved Mysteries last night that made me sit and think for a bit. Yes, I do that occasionally! In it a woman was looking for her husband–whom she claimed was the love of her life–who had disappeared one day and never returned. She never knew what happened, she needed answers. To make a long story short, they found him living in Key West. Key West! He claims he had been jumped, had a head injury, and suffered from complete amnesia after…and you know just wandered off to Key West!  Only after seeing pics of himself on the show did he contact someone and let them know he was alive. Happy endings…. Not so fast. The end of the episode showed him going to see her, she had tried to jog his memory by taking him to certain places, nothing worked, and the trip served to give her the closure she needed and he returned to the life he’d made for himself in… yes…Key West!

Is it me? Am I completely jaded and cynical where love and happy-ever-after is concerned, or does his story smell like marine life to the rest of you too? Here’s what I think: He never got jumped, there was no head injury, he never suffered from amnesia, and the only reason he came forward is he figured someone would recognize him from the show after it aired and thought it best to get shit out in the open…well sort of. The amnesia and playing dumb was a nice touch. “Way to not have to take responsibility for your actions and wanting to bail on your wife!” I only say this because I myself have spent years dreaming of the perfect way to escape my life and trying to find the best way to reinvent myself after doing so. And…Key West was where I would want to go. He was living in Key West guys. I mean, come on! It’s not like he hit his head and wandered to Ohio, or some shit! So anyway, I guess it will come as no surprise that coming down with amnesia and just wandering off is starting to cross my mind. What’s the worse that could happen? Getting caught and having to play dumb? Ha…ha… I do that already.

16 thoughts on “I’m All Over The Place Today!

  1. Dell?? reminds me when my dell gave me error messages and refused to boot up i called them and gave them the error message – all the technician said was WOW haven’t had that message in the 14 years i’ve worked here – how about you give me your number and i’ll call you back later – it’s been months now and i have a new computer. i have called twice to check and dell still has my number but no solution to my error…

    1. Oh the frustration…I know! This particular one got stuck in PowerSave mode I don’t know how many times. Each time I managed to somehow get it out after turning it off, unplugging it, rebooting, etc.. Not this time! It did nothing. I even called my nephew who does this computer shit for a living, he walked me through everything he’d try, and ended up saying “I dunno.” He thought maybe it came down with a virus or something. You know, computer-flu, tinkertoot. Hopefully this guy’ll get it up and running so at least I can download my shit onto floppies or something. I have a bad habit of not backing anything up. My bad!
      How in the hell can there be a message alert pre-programmed into the Dell system, but they have no idea what it means or how to fix it? Good grief! Computer idiots!!

  2. Unless your files are all labelled ‘Tits, bums and other bits – photos here’ I don’t think you need worry about your husband’s friend reading them. Perhaps a sports label might get them in too. Perhaps.

    The amnesia thing is really, really tempting. Perhaps I can use it here. ‘You say I promised to cook you dinner? I am so so sorry. I have amnesia?’ The possibilities are endless. Snicker, snicker, snicker.

    1. You’re probably accurate on the files. Still it unnerves me a little to think some GUY could be reading through my thoughts. And as much as I share with you, it still doesn’t compare to my journal. I’m seriously hell on wheels in that. I’m afraid more often than not I haven’t painted my husband or a few others in a very good light. Ah well, damage is done if it’s done. No use in worrying about it now, I guess.
      I thought that amnesia was a pretty good excuse myself. I, in fact, use it around here occasionally. Sadly, most of the time I honestly can’t remember shit. I think they call that aging though. Ha..ha..

  3. Play dumb? There’s a side of you I haven’t seen yet! While you’re clearly a woman of many talents, I really cannot for the life of me imagine you doing this particular thing well . . .

    On the broken computer front, I’ve had to face a few sketchy computer situations myself. I’ve taken to drafting short segments in email if no other options are available.

    1. Oh Deb, you are just a silver-tongued vixen, aren’t you? Always knowing the right things to say to me. Seriously though, I need to move a little in my chair to clear the smoke that’s been gathering around my ass since reading your first paragraph. I have to tell my family that you think I’m talented and anything but dumb. That should make for a humorous new post. Ha..ha..
      Speaking of talented…aren’t you just resourceful? I never thought of using the email for drafts!

  4. I like this guys method… run off, give yourself amnesia. Amnesia relieves you of any responsibility whatsoever. They use it in soap operas all the time… I am liking this more and more… just run off, show up some place completely different, do something different, be someone else. Be more of who you thought you could be while you were dragging your old life around like a 50 ton sack of wet sand.

    If we could successfully pull off, fake, amnesia, then what’s to stop us from changing our lives right where we are, right now? It’s some kind of a mental-cement, I guess. It sticks us in a place. Petrifies us.

    1. I couldn’t have said it better.
      You hear about this kind of thing all the time. People waking up from an accident and having no idea who they are, no recollection of their lives previous to that moment or the people that were in it. Then you hear everyone say how horrible. Really? Sounds like a damn vacation from the pain, if you ask me. All the baggage of bad relationships, dysfunctional childhoods that shaped us into a grotesque version of who we should be, love that is unrequited, etc. I’d miss the love I feel for my children, maybe my siblings, after that I can’t say it’d bother me a bit. Imagine waking up with a completely clean slate without that mental cement. No fear of past failures to hold you back. And you’re right. It’s all in the mind that stops us from being the best that we could be. Maybe I’ll get lucky and take a bad spill.

      1. When you put it that way, Miss Pissy, it just keeps looking better and better… forget our pain, all the things that create our fears and “shaped us into a grotesque version of who we should be”. Hmmm… I could re-hang my Christmas lights for Christmas in July, then just sorta…fall off the roof. Check Homeowners Insurance first, then…BAM!

        1. Christmas lights in July? Oooh…that’s even better, cause then everyone will think you’re a loony and losing your mind, you can get paid to sit home and collect disability for being a mental, aaaand…you can still get away with doing nothing, because you’re considered incapable of following through on tasks. Hey, it works for my husband! He screws up doing something I ask one time, and I never ask again but find a way to do it myself. Hmm…maybe he’s on to something too!

    1. Thank you. Anything has got to be better than this piece of shit I’ve been working on. Ahh…if only I had a laptop to take out in the yard with me. Alas, another dream yet unfulfilled.
      Yeah, doesn’t Key West just sound like heaven right now? Been there and haven’t had the means to go back. Not quite sure if I ever get there again that I’m catching the flight back home. I MAY GET AMNESIA!

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