“Happy Birthday To Me. Happy Birthday To Me. There’s No Need For Fan-Fare…Just Send Me Money.” Ha..Ha..Posted: November 5, 2011
Today is my birthday. I am now 49 years old. One year away and a step closer to being 50; which is a nice way of saying half a century. Which also means to me a blink away from being older than dirt. Poo-Poo that if you like, but I still hold strong to the fact when your eyesight starts going, gravity starts to tug on you, and you begin to grow hair and skin tags in places you never thought of before as being sowable, your freakin old! ‘Kay?
So I made no plans for my birthday. Can you believe it? Other than wanting to go and see my son this weekend, I have absolutely no agenda. I thought of doing dinner and a movie tonight, but now I’m thinking eh…not so much. I thought about having the Old Man take me out to shoot some 8-ball–my favorite thing to do; well, other than sex, drinking an ice-cold beer on a hot day (okay, any damn day), consuming chocolate, Pepsi, or cheese (I’m like a freaking mouse)…not necessarily in that order–but then I had to remind myself that I really have no fun when we go to the bar together because he’s an introvert, I’m an extrovert, and frankly he bores the fuck out of me because he’s a Mr. Fun-Hater. Nah…I think I’ll pass. So what am I doing today other than chatting with you? Cleaning house. Don’t start cursing under your breath. It was my choice.
The Old Man and I went to Walmart last night and he finally bought me a new vacuum. I wanted a ‘Dyson Animal’, but settled for a ‘Eureka’. This is because my husband doesn’t open his wallet to take out money, but rather has to unclench his ass and pry it out. Yep, I have one of those. Anyway, this was more than overdue and I’m as excited like I just won the damn lottery. Ya see, his hair falls to the middle of his back when he takes it out of a ponytail and he sheds like a Siberian Husky. Don’t ask me why his hair isn’t thinning, because it appears that most of it winds up daily on my bathroom sink, the back of the toilet, and balled up in my carpeting. No, seriously…I had to cut it off the roller of the old vacuum each time I would use it. Thus the, now needing a new vacuum… And it was just in the nick of time, too. As I told Pandora Patty last night…the hair in the carpet was getting so dense it was starting to braid itself. Ewww….! So yep, I’m going to vacuum my house today. YAY!
Well, there was another reason I chose to stay home today and send him on his way: Bow hunting has started, he’s been itching to go, and it was an excuse for him to get his nasty, little puppy out of my hair for a day. I get not a moments rest or relaxation in my home anymore. Hound Dog and I are literally at our wits end. Bon annoys Hound Dog unmercifully, has chewed through the lamp cord, a phone charger (we had to replace the entire cordless phone), and most recently the phone cord itself. Nothing is safe, and everything–including Hound Dog and I–are being teethed on. So he made me a pot of coffee this morning, set a carafe of it and cup on my nightstand, wished me ‘Happy Birthday’, and I bid him and the nasty, little heathen he was holding in his arms, adieu. “Say bye to Mommy.” he told Bon. “Yep. Love ya both.” I smiled, then whispered under my breath…“Don’t let the door hit ya in the ass on your way out.” I heard the footsteps as he made his way down the stairs toting Bon in his arms, and Hound Dog and I just looked at each other. I swear I saw a grin on his face and heard him snicker as he crawled under the blanket with me and we settled in for another hour of sleep. Ya get when the getting’s good and the opportunity arises.
Well, I’m not going to waste anymore time on the computer today. I know I have comments I need to reply to, should take the time to catch up on some of my buddies blogs, need to email back a friend, but just don’t want to waste my birthday sitting on my pc all day. Not sure what I’m going to do exactly, but whatever it is I’ll be doing it in peace. Ahhhhh….. “Happy Birthday To Me!”