“Happy Birthday To Me. Happy Birthday To Me. There’s No Need For Fan-Fare…Just Send Me Money.” Ha..Ha..

Today is my birthday. I am now 49 years old. One year away and a step closer to being 50; which is a nice way of saying half a century. Which also means to me a blink away from being older than dirt. Poo-Poo that if you like, but I still hold strong to the fact when your eyesight starts going, gravity starts to tug on you, and you begin to grow hair and skin tags in places you never thought of before as being sowable, your freakin old! ‘Kay?

So I made no plans for my birthday. Can you believe it? Other than wanting to go and see my son this weekend, I have absolutely no agenda. I thought of doing dinner and a movie tonight, but now I’m thinking eh…not so much. I thought about having the Old Man take me out to shoot some 8-ball–my favorite thing to do; well, other than sex, drinking an ice-cold beer on a hot day (okay, any damn day), consuming chocolate, Pepsi, or cheese (I’m like a freaking mouse)…not necessarily in that order–but then I had to remind myself that I really have no fun when we go to the bar together because he’s an introvert, I’m an extrovert, and frankly he bores the fuck out of me because he’s a Mr. Fun-Hater. Nah…I think I’ll pass. So what am I doing today other than chatting with you? Cleaning house. Don’t start cursing under your breath. It was my choice.

The Old Man and I went to Walmart last night and he finally bought me a new vacuum. I wanted a ‘Dyson Animal’, but settled for a ‘Eureka’. This is because my husband doesn’t open his wallet to take out money, but rather has to unclench his ass and pry it out. Yep, I have one of those. Anyway, this was more than overdue and I’m as excited like I just won the damn lottery. Ya see, his hair falls to the middle of his back when he takes it out of a ponytail and he sheds like a Siberian Husky. Don’t ask me why his hair isn’t thinning, because it appears that most of it winds up daily on my bathroom sink, the back of the toilet, and balled up in my carpeting. No, seriously…I had to cut it off the roller of the old vacuum each time I would use it. Thus the, now needing a new vacuum… And it was just in the nick of time, too. As I told Pandora Patty last night…the hair in the carpet was getting so dense it was starting to braid itself. Ewww….! So yep, I’m going to vacuum my house today. YAY!

Well, there was another reason I chose to stay home today and send him on his way: Bow hunting has started, he’s been itching to go, and it was an excuse for him to get his nasty, little puppy out of my hair for a day. I get not a moments rest or relaxation in my home anymore. Hound Dog and I are literally at our wits end. Bon annoys Hound Dog unmercifully, has chewed through the lamp cord, a phone charger (we had to replace the entire cordless phone), and most recently the phone cord itself. Nothing is safe, and everything–including Hound Dog and I–are being teethed on. So he made me a pot of coffee this morning, set a carafe of it and cup on my nightstand, wished me ‘Happy Birthday’, and I bid him and the nasty, little heathen he was holding in his arms, adieu. “Say bye to Mommy.” he told Bon. “Yep. Love ya both.” I smiled, then whispered under my breath…“Don’t let the door hit ya in the ass on your way out.” I heard the footsteps as he made his way down the stairs toting Bon in his arms, and Hound Dog and I just looked at each other. I swear I saw a grin on his face and heard him snicker as he crawled under the blanket with me and we settled in for another hour of sleep. Ya get when the getting’s good and the opportunity arises. 

Well, I’m not going to waste anymore time on the computer today. I know I have comments I need to reply to, should take the time to catch up on some of my buddies blogs, need to email back a friend, but just don’t want to waste my birthday sitting on my pc all day. Not sure what I’m going to do exactly, but whatever it is I’ll be doing it in peace. Ahhhhh….. “Happy Birthday To Me!”

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15 Comments on ““Happy Birthday To Me. Happy Birthday To Me. There’s No Need For Fan-Fare…Just Send Me Money.” Ha..Ha..”

  1. Happy Belated Birthday Pissy! Sorry it’s so late…I was MIA for a few days. I hope it was relaxing doing whatever it is you wound up doing in quiet…or that you got a wee bit excited when you used the new vacuum and had some alone time… 😉

  2. But would you accept money and fanfare?

  3. Found your blog through Wordsfallfrommyeyes. I love a man with a ponytail too! I don’t know what it is about the dichotomy of the masculine with the feminine long hair, but I love it. Child of the 80’s that’s me. I got so excited when I got my new vacuum too. I did manage to get a Dyson Animal and I love it. Hope you love your Eureka as well.
    I have skin tags and the gravity problem at 41. Does that make me old? I don’t feel old in my head. Kind of sucks when your mental age doesn’t go with your physical age, doesn’t it? Anyway, happy birthday. I hope it’s a good one.

  4. Patricia says:

    Happy Birthday from someone who is way older than dirt and lovin life! Old really is not a bad thing.

  5. Happy Birthday! May this new year of yours bring you all the blessings – plenty of love, joy, smiles and tons of comments 🙂

  6. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. You are catching up. Sort of. Taking the demon puppy out for the day was a pretty cool birthday present. Hope you and Hound Dog have/had (time differences mess with my head) a great day.

    I so know where you are on the vacuuming front. I swear, if I could knit, I could knit a new cat each week. And a while back I had to take a teaspoon of vacuum dust to the allergist and what I took him was dirty cat and people hair. V embarrasing. And he (the allergist) found that of the ten most common allergens I am not allergic to cat and dog hair. The rest, well yes.

    Fingers crossed that you get to see Jud.

  7. SimonAndRoni says:

    Happy birthday, fellow November 5th-er! Hope you have a terrific day!

  8. daisyfae says:

    Happy birthday! i turned 49 in June, and so far, it’s been a pretty damn good year! Here’s to a festive year ahead for you as we both plow our way to 50!

  9. Spectra says:

    Well, a big ol’ HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you!

    Enjoy your self-rejuvenating day. And imagine being 89; by then, you’ll probably look back at 49 and think ‘I was so young and healthy and strong then…’ (by comparison)

    I am off to go close down my garden for the winter ;( So celebrate without me!

  10. Renee Mason says:

    What I would give to be 49 again! It’s all relative, isn’t it? Have a blissful, peaceful day without the Tiny Terrorist. Be glad he hasn’t eaten an entire king-size chenille bedspread yet! Happy BDay Lou!

  11. Happy Birthday girlfriend!! Have a spectacular day 🙂

  12. siggiofmaine says:

    .♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪…Happy Birthday..♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪..
    ..♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪…Happy Birthday..♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪..

    ☮ ♥ Siggi in Downeast Maine

    PS…one year…like 1966 or so, for all gift giving occasions, including my birthday, I wanted a vacuum, too. My hubby, ex now, bought himself a new better camera. I found be careful what asked for, he might find something more expensive for himself ! I finally bought myself…I’m a slow learner, in the early 1980’s a wonderful Miele !
    Your blog brought this to mind with the tangling of his hair on the roller…
    that wasn’t a problem here !
    I keep driveling on trying to say something funny…sigh. I guess I’m not that kind of writer so will close with….
    enjoy your solitude…I have learned that the gift of peace and quiet is the best gift money can’t buy.
    .♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪…Happy Birthday..♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪..
    ..♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪…Happy Birthday..♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪..

    ☮ ♥ Siggi in Downeast Maine