Our ‘krazy’ Kellar Klan!Posted: November 21, 2011
I think the Old Man felt bad this morning, which is why I woke up to a pot of coffee going. He doesn’t drink the stuff. Oh, he’ll drink Jack Daniels whiskey straight from the bottle, but coffee tastes horrible. WTF, right? Anyway, he used to make my coffee all the time, but then went on strike when I stopped making him freaking five course breakfast’s on Sunday morning, so it’s been a while. Last night though he really pissed me off when he got mad at my little angel (Bronagh) for wetting on the floor. He only came unglued, because I expected him to clean it up. Heeeey…I do it all the time, remember? So I made it clear he could sleep on the couch, and took my darlings to bed with me. It was just as well. He ate spaghetti for dinner, and well let’s just say sometimes it smells a lot better on the plate than it does after it’s eaten. Capiche? This morning I woke up to coffee in the pot, so I’d say it was a win for me, right?
I got to see a lot of my family Saturday afternoon, so the weekend was wonderful for me. My oldest sister, Nancy, was throwing her husband, Red, an 80th birthday party. Don’t let that number fool ya. He’s no more an adult than I am. No, seriously. He can’t keep a straight face, and is always ‘cracking’ someone up with his jokes. Anyway, it gave me a chance to spend time with all my siblings and a few family members that I haven’t seen in a long while, and I don’t remember the last time ‘all’ of us were able to get together. Schedules are iffy, at best.
Sadly, not everyone that was supposed to turn out for this shin-dig showed. There are ALOT of women in our family…me and my sisters, our daughters, their daughters, etc…and well, for the most part we’re a bunch of petty bitches. Everyone is in everyone else’s business, hates one another, loves one another, and blah, blah, blah. Nerve wracking, and explains why I keep to myself in the country, huh? So, ya know…never mind what we’re supposed to be there for. Let’s just be pissy and not show up cause we’re mad about something stupid the other did–that I might add they’ll get over in no time at all–and miss an important milestone like this. Our family is weird in the way that we can fight to the death amongst ourselves, but God help the person that comes in from the outside to stir up trouble, because then you have all of us putting aside our differences and turning our brooms on them. This might explain why when I told my husband we had this thing to go to he adamantly declined.
Old Man: “I’m not going. You and Nadine can go and I’ll hang out over at her house with Dale.” (her husband). My brother-in-law has been in our family since he met my sister at 16 (I was 3 years old, which’ll give you a clue as to how long that’s been), has had more than enough of the ‘pettiness’ in our family, and refuses to go to a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g!
Me: “You have to go! This is Red’s 80th birthday party.” I pleaded. “How many more opportunities do you think we’re going to have to get together?”
Old Man: “I’m not going. You can go without me.”
Me: “But…whyyyy?” I drug out the question in a pleading manner, with my puppiest of puppy-dog eyes as emphasis.
Old Man: He looked at me with an incredulous expression. “You gotta ask? You all break out your buck knifes and sharpening stones (he begins gesturing the motion with his arms of sharpening a blade), and sit there looking around and asking, “Alright, which one of you motherfuckers screwed up?” and then all of you pounce on him. Umm….no thanks!”
Okay…((chuckle))…he’s about accurate. You’d know our family at a restaurant, because there would be a herd of cackling females using their hands to exaggerate when they speak, and spouses that spend a lot of their time looking to their wives to see how they ‘should’ be acting. No…I’m just kidding! Ha..ha.. Okay, maybe I’m not.
Well, so to make a v-e-r-y long story shorter, he took Nadine and I over there, his truck then refused to start back up in the parking lot (kinda serves him right for being a chicken shit), and he spent nearly as much time outside trying to get it running so he could leave, as we did inside enjoying ourselves. Eh, who knows? Maybe we put a curse on him.
I took my camera, had fully intended to get a bunch of pictures, but stupid me forgot to charge my battery before I left and it conked out after just a handful. I did manage to get a few of what’s left of our immediate family though. (My brother Allyn has been missing and his disappearance considered a homicide, since March of 1986. Both our parents have also passed, so it’s now just the five of us.
By the way….little FYI: Just because a blouse looks great hanging up, doesn’t mean it’s going to look good hanging on you. No one…NO ONE!…bothered to tell me that I looked ‘knocked-up’ in this shirt. Nice, huh? ((groan)) Pics don’t lie though…do they?
Here’s a couple more, which will also explain why my brother, Junior, is best-friends with my brother-in-law, Red. Neither of them EVER act like adults.
Funny thing about my family…for years there were always a couple of us that got along with a couple other ones, but for the most part we spent a lot of time picking away at what we thought were the ‘others’ flaws. (Well, everyone except Nadine, who we joke is a saint. She hates that by the way, and says she’s far from a saint. Pssst…she is too! Compared to the rest of us anyway.) I think it had to do with the fact that we are all so very different and had difficulty accepting choices the others made for their lives. Especially mine and Allyn’s choices. Black sheep come to mind. All that changed after my mother, then my father passed. I think we finally realized for the first time that we no longer had a reason to get together or be a family without our folks, and well….we found one. We actually love one another. Who woulda thought? I just know that I’m in a much better place today with my siblings than I ever was. Maybe part of it was finally ‘accepting’ who I am as an individual and not being willing to feel ‘pressured’ to be anyone else. Maybe also because I realized how important it was for them to be who they are too. I don’t know. I just know whatever was ‘broken’ between us has slowly begun to repair itself, and I feel more than fortunate that I was able to find my family again. I do, after all, have one ‘helluva’ great family. 🙂
I hope all of you had a great weekend too!