Pissy Can Drive Again!

I had an impossibly good weekend. One in which the mechanical wheels of good fortune seemed to just shift everything perfectly into place. Each time an obstacle seemed to arise it was as if a solution presented itself before worry had a chance to manifest. Had I much of a chance to think about it until after, I might’ve assumed it was happening to someone else. After all, when has Pissy ever had anything but shitty luck?

Before I share with you all how well the weekend went, I must tell you that the Sam-E herbal antidepressant I bought and had such high hopes for has proven to be more of a problem for me than a solution. I noticed within just a few days that it did indeed improve my mood and even relieved the constant pain I have in my lower back from my Sciactica, but I was having serious gastrointestinal side effects from it—which was so not worth it—that I discontinued use after six days. The kind that doubles you over in agony, and you don’t know whether you need to shit, spit, scream, or both. Ummm…no! Anyway, I hear it’s something that doesn’t necessarily happen but can, and in my case did, so although I still recommend trying it as it may work for some, I’m back to taking drugstore stress tabs.

I had my DMV appointment Saturday morning to take my driving test. ((Groan)) Something I looked forward to, but dreaded at the same time. I got a lousy three hours sleep the night before, as the Old Man decided to play a lil ‘slap and tickle’ in the middle of the night, and to be honest didn’t see myself faring even reasonably well. I was nervous anyway, and my ass was a draggin’. I did manage to jump in a shower though, slapped on a little face paint to hide the dark circles, crammed my fat ass (courtesy of a couple weeks of nervously eating over a gallon of ice cream) into a pair of ripped, blue jeans, and was ready when Kristy was supposed to arrive to pick me up. To my surprise she seemed as nervous as I was, and it was then I learned that at the last minute she found a light was out in her car, panicked because she knew it wouldn’t pass inspection, and had to have her Old Man meet us at the store to replace it. Kurt to the rescue! 🙂 Then to ease my nervousness—I can only assume—he insisted I take money as a gift to buy a new pair of ‘driving’ sunglasses to go with my new license. He had a helluva lot more faith than I did I could pull it off.

To be honest, I SUCKED at my driving test. I turned on the wipers and fluid squirted all over the windshield when the instructor directed me to turn on the lights for inspection. I rode with the emergency brake on for several blocks before even realizing that was why the car was dragging. My hands shook, my voice rattled when I spoke, and my response time was off. I just knew, KNEW, I was going to fail. I felt like an idiot, could feel the heat on my face from embarrassment, and kept apologizing during the whole thing. All the while thinking to myself, Good-fucking-grief…you used to drive for a living at one time, and never had so much as a speeding ticket before this damn DUI! Then something wonderful happened (I kid you not…it was a damn gift that fell right into my lap), the instructor recognized me. We both spied a Harley, she started talking about something…someone…I recognized the name as a friend, and suddenly…she recognized me. Oh yeah, Pissy was a bartender, remember? And a damn good one, I might add. Don’t think that shit don’t come in handy! She smiled; conversation instantly became easy, my driving skills improved like I was just occupying the vehicle with an old friend, and this bitch walked away with a license. YAY!!! I got out of the DMV as quickly as I could, after. Partly, because I was afraid they’d realize at the last minute that a huge mistake was made, and another reason was because I thought I was going to start bawling with relief…and well, Kristy looked like she was about to start crying with happiness for me.

The plan after was to get a bite to eat before heading back home, but great minds think alike, and mine and Kristy’s seem to be ‘scarily’ similar. Oh, ya know we were going to drink our lunch to celebrate, and did. We stopped in at my old haunt in the city, I was able to spend time with a few, old friends I hadn’t seen in at least two years, and shot some really ‘shitty’ pool. I probably had more than I should’ve, because I vaguely remember going home and falling into bed. Sunday I got to play ‘princess for a day’, the Old Man grilled steaks, and even managed to muster up some Cajun, grilled shrimp and Fettuccini Alfredo to go with it that was pretty tasty. I have no idea when the Redneck learned to cook. That must’ve completely escaped me.

Now, none of this past weekend might seem particularly ‘lucky’ to any of you, but as I said before, Pissy has absolutely NO LUCK, so I find it indeed lucky that Kristy thought to inspect her new car at the last minute and therefore was able to foresee a problem that would’ve occurred to prevent me from taking the test had she not. That we had time to spare and Kurt was available to fix it for us. That I just happened to be fortunate enough to get probably the one and only driving instructor in town that was familiar with me, the bar I used to work at, friends and the ‘biker’ lifestyle we have in common, and…and…was cooler than shit. But more important, I think, was that I’ve been lucky enough to find a friend like Kristy.

I’d honestly forgotten that there were people like her left in the world. By people I mean those that are selfless, generous, and actually don’t mind going out of their way to inconvenience themselves for another. I guess I was also surprised to realize my own reaction to it, and wonder when I began to think of myself as so unimportant I was undeserving of kindness. I say this because when I offered her gas money to pay her back for the cost of driving me an hour into the city and back, she declined, and I found myself uncomfortable and kept insisting she take it…which she never did. When she asked me where I wanted to go to have a few drinks, I found myself completely without an opinion at first, which I contribute to being chauffeured around these past four years I’ve been without a license, and having had to go where others want…with little thought to what I might enjoy. I was also shocked that she had no negative reaction to my wanting to stop in at the old haunt and see some old friends, but probably more so that she seemed to really enjoy herself once there. And trust me, that bar is considered the Island of Misfit Toys, where not just ‘anyone’ can fit in. And also because she kept insisting that she buy drinks, because it was my special day. My special day? I’m allowed to have a ‘special’ day?

I don’t know what world the rest of you are fortunate to live in, but in mine these little niceties are not every day commonplace, and when they occur I recognize them and give credit where credit is due. So this post is not so much as an update to what’s been happening in Pissy’s daily life as it is to stress how far just little acts of kindness can go to validate another’s worth. It really takes so little of ones self to make another feel important…and can go a very long way at undoing the damage made by others less considerate. I feel pretty fortunate now for just the small, handful of people in my life that make me feel better about myself, and have fewer regrets for the many I once had, now gone, who didn’t. You know what they say, if you can count all your ‘real’ friends on one hand….

Oh, and in case you missed it… “This bitch can drive!”