‘Downsizing’ Doesn’t Necessarily Mean Loss

It’s been six days since I’ve posted, and almost as many since I read a blog. I’ve made myself downsize my computer time, sit outside and get some fresh air, and allow other things that command my attention take precedence. What I found is that I’m no worse for the wear because I did, and actually feel pretty good for having done it. What I also found is that I’ve grown so accustomed to spending ALL my free time on the computer, that it’s difficult for me to know how to get motivated doing anything else anymore. I literally have forgotten how to do other things.

One of these little projects I figured I’d now have time for, but found I could not seem to get the task underway, was cleaning up my son’s room. My son moved out the first week of August. You think it might be time? Duh! Now I could leave it as it is, shutting the door behind me and forever ignoring it, if it were not for one problem…this is also our only spare room. Our large, four bedroom farmhouse functions only as a two bedroom. The reason is that my husband insisted on turning one room into his ‘Smoke Room’ (don’t ask), done in orange and black, with leather love seat, mini-fridge, and his huge assortment of Harley shit and music. I can’t gripe too much, it got all that shit out of my living room years ago. Another, the very back room on the second floor, we started gutting, never got very far, and now use strictly for storage. So you see the spare room, the one my son used, could really come in handy for overnight guests. Okay, I’m lying. I need it for my shit! 

I have an excessive amount of clothes. No, don’t think of a closet and dresser crammed with shit. Think of two closets, three dressers, and one of those ‘I-bought-it-at-Target-and-hope-to-hell-it-will-hold-all-my-shit-temporary-wardrobes’ in the storage room. So when my teenage son moved back in with us after living at his fathers, I had to give up a dresser and closet space in said spare room where I stored a lot of my things, and seasonal shit found it’s way into numerous ‘space bags’. Well, now that my son has permanently moved out I thought I would empty these bags and put my stuff back where it had originally been. Know how far I got this weekend? Not very freaking far!

I know it’s because I’ve acquired this bad habit of putting my blog first, and assuming as long as the house appears outwardly clean, I can tackle the rest whenever I get to it. Problem is I NEVER get to it. And I find it’s gotten easier and easier to ignore, the longer I’m playing the procrastination game. Feel me? And my eyes have also been opened to the fact as I’ve noticed these jobs piling up on me that I have far too much shit. Good grief! How many clothes, antiques, and knick knacks does one woman need? You’d think I did without as a child or something. I have to tell ya, I found a little hilarity in this as I was dragging these bags to the room, because ninety percent of them are cold-weather clothes and I don’t even wear them. I shit you not, I absolutely LIVE in pajama’s! 

I have come to the conclusion that I absolutely must downsize. My common phrase at the bar was “A tidy bar is a happy bar”, as I forced coasters upon my customers. Yes, a lot of bikers used these as frisbee’s to let me know how they felt about them. You know…like being forced to use a coaster was a feminine act or something. Sheesh! And it’s not just my shit I need to downsize, but anything that is overwhelming me. This includes, but is not limited to, emails and subscriptions. I get notifications for everything about everyone, but there are only a handful that leave comments. As much as I hate to, I’m going to have to focus on those that have actually taken the time to get to know me, and/or have regular conversations with me, and let the rest of the subscriptions go. This doesn’t mean I don’t care. It just means that being forced to downsize I have to make some more of a priority then others. The rest will continue to have a home on my blog roll, and I will pay you a courtesy visit occasionally, but will no longer receive notifications of your posts. I wanted it to be clear as to why I’m doing what I’m doing, when you notice what I’ve done. I don’t want there to be any hard feelings. You can feel free to drop me also if you like. There will not be hard feelings on my end either. I’m more than aware how overwhelming it is. 

So this is Pissy’s post for today. She’s going to attempt to lighten her load. I say attempt, because that means I still have to get motivated in order to do that, and am not sure how long it’s going to take. I only know that the holidays are quickly approaching, with them comes increased madness, and it would be wonderful not to have so much on my plate for a change and actually be able to enjoy them for the first time in years. I didn’t realize till last night when I thought about it, that it’s been several years since I decorated for Christmas and even put up a tree. I believe since the Christmas before 2008 when I got my dui, Beth took her life, and I fell into this rollercoaster depression I haven’t been able to get off. It’s time for me to try and take my life back, find some peace within myself, and hopefully a little joy in the things I already have. More than time. 

Love you all…..