I sit here in bed this morning frustrated. I’ve been taking the antibiotic, Cephalexin, and 800 mg of Ibruprofen as an anti-inflammatory now since Saturday morning faithfully, and although I’m feeling a bit better, can’t seem to shake the overall fatigue. I know I’m probably expecting too much too soon—the story of my life—but I’m just really getting sick of being sick! Yesterday it seemed to take everything out of me just to post on my blog, bring in some firewood, let the dogs out and do a few dishes. I wound up back on the couch, out of breath, feeling like I’d just swam the English Channel. It’s ridiculous. I mean, I know I’m not a spring chicken anymore, but I’m not feeble neither. Who would’ve thought something as relatively simple as an oral infection and headaches associate with TMJ Joint Disorder could be this debilitating?
I suppose I could blame part of it on stress and the weather. I haven’t exactly been Polly-Positive lately, and the weather has been less than cheerful. It’s all around me now, as I sit here in my flannel nightshirt, with my fleece, top sheet and down comforter pulled up and wrapped snugly around my chest. I catch the flashes of lightening razor across the darkened, morning sky through parted blinds. I feel the rumble of thunder move through me as it breaks. I see the images of destruction left behind from the recent swarm of tornados on the morning news, and a familiar fear overtakes me. Am I safe?
It’s not just that I get concerned in bad weather, but rather I am truly terrified by it. To be more exact, it’s storms and tornados that I fear. Crazy for someone who’s lived in the Midwest her whole life, huh? I should be used to it by now, right? Well, that’s precisely why. My mother was a worrier. I am my mother’s daughter.
Truth be known, as I’ve stated before, my mother suffered from a chemical imbalance. I suspect she was bi-polar and probably had a mild, panic disorder too. Back then, of course, she wasn’t diagnosed with such, but rather just had typical mood swings and bouts with mild depression. I, being the youngest and far removed from my other siblings in age, had the wonderful burden of carrying this crazy woman’s madness alone, and experienced firsthand what it could do to someone. Is it any wonder I’m so jacked up? One of her greatest fears was…you guessed it…bad weather. Continue reading “Weather Weary”